In an unexpected turn of events, former President Donald Trump, notorious for his unconventional stances, admitted today that the Earth is indeed round, leaving flat earthers across the nation in utter shock.

The former president made this unexpected admission while celebrating Earth Day, a global event he was largely indifferent to during his term. Trump’s sudden embrace of this universal truth and the environment left scientists worldwide questioning whether they had slipped into an alternate reality.

As if the proclamation wasn’t mind-boggling enough, Trump decided to commemorate the day by planting dollar bills, his own unique spin on the age-old tradition of tree planting. The spectacle took place at his Mar-a-Lago resort, further adding to the surreal nature of the event.

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“Don’t get me wrong, trees are great,” said the former president. “Fantastic, really. But everyone does that. I’m not everyone. We’re taking this to the next level.”

Rather than opting for the ubiquitously planted oak or maple, Trump, in his signature flamboyant style, chose hundred dollar bills. His unique choice of ‘sapling’ is believed to be a symbolic representation of his belief in the power of capitalism to heal the world.

“I’ve always said, money doesn’t grow on trees. But why not? Why not?” he asserted, as he pressed a crisp Benjamin into the Floridian soil. “If I can make money grow from a casino, I can make it grow from the ground.”

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The dollar bills, Trump explained, were “a metaphor for the American dream.” He further added, “These bills, they’re going to grow into mighty money trees. It’s going to be tremendous. You wait and see,” triggering an avalanche of memes and late-night punchlines.

However, the scientific community was quick to point out the lack of feasibility in Trump’s plan. “Money, unlike seeds, lacks the necessary biology to undergo photosynthesis and grow into a tree,” explained Dr. Flora Green, a botanist at the University of California–Berkeley. “This is more of a symbolic gesture rather than a practical solution to climate change.”

Regardless, Trump’s acknowledgement of the Earth’s round shape was hailed as a major win by the scientific community. “At least he’s not saying it’s a disk flying through space on the back of a giant turtle,” said one scientist, who requested to remain anonymous.

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Whether the former president’s admission was a revelation, a public relations maneuver, or simply another unconventional Trumpism, it has left the world simultaneously bemused, bewildered and relieved. As for the future of the planted dollar bills, we will just have to wait and see if they grow as Trump predicts, into the mightiest money trees the world has ever seen.