STOCKHOLM — In a move sending shockwaves through the international community and children’s television alike, longtime Sesame Street resident Elmo has formally applied for political asylum in Sweden, citing “credible threats to puppet civil liberties” following President Donald Trump’s executive order to defund PBS.

The Trump administration, which has previously referred to Elmo as a “radical left-wing agitator in red fur,” accused the beloved Muppet of indoctrinating children with socialist values such as empathy, letter recognition, and sharing.

According to leaked documents, Elmo’s asylum request—filed in crayon—describes an “escalating campaign of ideological persecution” and includes a notarized statement: “Tickle Me? No. Target Me? Yes.” The Swedish Migration Board confirmed receipt of the application, with spokesperson Lars Björnsson stating, “In Sweden, we do not discriminate based on species, stuffing, or felt coloration.”

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Elmo’s departure comes days after Trump posted a now-deleted Truth Social rant labeling PBS “a Marxist sleeper cell disguised as puppets and tote bags.” The president further claimed that characters like Big Bird, Elmo, and Grover “have been pushing CRT, LGBTQ propaganda, and climate panic in the guise of phonics.”

But perhaps the most targeted have been Bert and Ernie, who have fled to Canada under emergency refugee protections. Once hailed as symbols of domestic harmony, the pair now find themselves entangled in a political firestorm over their longtime shared living arrangement.

“Ernie and I have lived together for decades,” Bert stated in an emotional press conference from an undisclosed cabin in Quebec. “We collect bottle caps, sleep in twin beds, and play the tuba. If that’s a threat to American values, then we want no part of it.”

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Sources close to the pair say the final straw came when a Department of Homeland Security report referred to Bert and Ernie as “a coordinated domestic unit exhibiting suspicious levels of intimacy and synchronized wardrobe.” The report recommended monitoring “all puppets cohabitating without clear employment or romantic affiliations.”

Meanwhile, Big Bird has emerged as the reluctant spokesperson for a community in exile. Speaking from the steps of the boarded-up 123 Sesame Street townhouse, he delivered a somber statement: “We’ve spent 50 years teaching kindness, literacy, and numeracy. We didn’t know it would come to this. If helping kids count makes me a threat, then count me out.”

In response to the controversy, Netflix has announced it will stream Sesame Street: Resistance Years beginning this fall, a gritty reboot featuring storylines about media suppression, refugee crises, and the ethical implications of cookie hoarding under late capitalism. Cookie Monster, whose on-screen consumption has come under scrutiny, expressed concern. “Me not extremist,” he said through tears. “Me just snack enthusiast. But me fear me next.”

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International reaction has been swift. German Chancellor Annalena Baerbock called the treatment of Sesame Street “a grotesque affront to cultural decency,” while French officials have offered political sanctuary to Abby Cadabby, citing “historical precedent for harboring magical exiles.”

In a surprise turn, Grover has announced an exploratory committee for a 2028 presidential run, calling himself the “Only Monster Moderate Enough to Heal This Nation.” His campaign slogan, “Near? Far? Forward,” has already trended across puppet-activist circles.

Kermit the Frog, speaking from a lily pad somewhere in exile, released a statement of solidarity: “It’s not easy being green. But in today’s America, it’s downright dangerous being made of polyester fleece and compassion.”

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Back in Washington, when asked to comment on the exodus, President Trump doubled down: “We’ve had enough of puppets telling our kids how to live. Elmo can go cry in Sweden, Bert and Ernie can knit sweaters in Canada, and Big Bird better learn to fly south—permanently. Real Americans get their values from YouTube ads and Joe Rogan.”

As the streets of Sesame fall silent, replaced by the clatter of empty mailboxes and boarded-up stoops, one truth remains: the puppets may be fleeing—but the message still echoes.