In the leaked cabinet conversation, members discussed the importance of applying sunscreen while in the sun, with some sharing personal habits and others reminding about the dangers of overexposure to UV rays. The conversation also revealed the physical locations of some members, with one stating they were in Russia.
‘Leaked Cabinet Discussion: Sunscreen and Stray Actions’
Waltz (10:50 AM ET):
Checking in from the Coast guard, it’s pretty sunny out here. Remember to apply sunscreen.
Miller (10:52 AM ET):
Noted. 😎
Rubio (10:53 AM ET):
Nice to see you’re human after all, Waltz.😹
Gabbard (11:00 AM ET):
I heard you should apply sunscreen every two hours. Is that correct?
Rubio (11:08 AM ET):
I presume that’s for people who actually see the sun, Gabbard.
Gabbard (11:15 AM ET):
I’m in Russia, Marco. Plenty of sun here.
Hegseth (11:30 AM ET):
I don’t use sunscreen. I have my jingoistic machismo to protect me from UV rays. 💪
Vance (11:33 AM ET):
That’s not how sunscreen works, Hegseth, you need to protect your skin. Overexposure to UV rays can increase the risk of skin cancer.
Hegseth (11:45 AM ET):
I’ll think about it, Vance.
Bessent (12:00 PM ET):
I second Vance. Working out under the sun increases sweat production which wipes off the sunscreen. Reapplying is crucial.
Ratcliffe (12:05 PM ET):
Who knew we’d take a detour into dermatology today.
Wiles (12:30 PM ET):
A little off-topic never hurt anyone.
Witkoff (12:45 PM ET):
Agree. Back to business: anyone got POTUS’ approval for the new trade sanction?
Vance (1:15 PM ET):
I’m working on it. Trump’s still unsure, but I’m hopeful. Let’s not forget where our loyalties lie.
Kent (1:35 PM ET):
Vance, just make sure you don’t screw it up by referencing European moochers. He hates them.
Vance (2:00 PM ET):
Noted, Kent. You reapply your sunscreen yet, Waltz?
Waltz (2:03 PM ET):
Yes, Vance. Back to more serious matters.
Miller (2:10 PM ET):
Let me know if we need a harsh statement about over-reliance on European goods. I’ve got a lot of hatred for that.
Hegseth (2:15 PM ET):
Sure, Miller. But don’t forget to apply sunscreen before you start that statement. Your hatred can’t protect you from everything.
Rubio (2:30 PM ET):
Glad to see we are still capable of humor, façade or not. Keep us posted, Vance!
