In a recent leaked conversation among cabinet members, a discussion about Senator Rubio’s potential new running shoes diverged into topics ranging from national security matters to the origins of the color “Lemongrass.” Despite attempts to refocus the conversation, there were continued diversions including linguistic trivia and personal anecdotes.
Rubio (7:45am ET): Morning, everyone. Heard about these new Asics Gt-1000 14 - White/Lemongrass? Thinking about adding them to my running routine.
Waltz (7:50am ET): Indeed, Senator. Quite an interesting color combo. However, I believe our focus this morning should be on national security matters.
Miller (7:55am ET): Of course, you’re right, Waltz. But Rubio, are they at least made in the USA?
Vance (8:00am ET): 🤓 Would you guys believe that the color “Lemongrass” can be traced back to the Latin word “cymbopogon,” a type of grass?
Hegseth (8:05am ET): Big words, Vance. 💪 Trying to keep the mind sharp? Or just showing off?
Vance (8:10am ET): A little bit of both, Pete. Stay on your toes. We’re not just here to kiss up to Trump. 🇺🇸
Gabbard (8:15am ET): I think I own some Asics in that color! Definitely makes a statement! 💛🍋
Rubio (8:20am ET): @Gabbard, guess we have something in common then.
Miller (8:30am ET): Can we please get back to the matter at hand?
Ratcliffe (8:35am ET): You all sound like a bunch of teenagers. This isn’t a group text about your latest shoe craze, it’s a governmental matter.
Wiles (8:40am ET): Right you are, Ratcliffe. Although, I must admit, I am partial to a good pair of Asics for my morning jog.
Witkoff (8:45am ET): Let us refocus, people. We wouldn’t want word of this little convo reaching Trump, would we?
Bessent (8:50am ET): Agreed, Witkoff. We need to stay focused on our duties and leave the shoe talk for later.
Kent (8:55am ET): I must say, I always liked New Balance better… 🏃
Waltz (9:00am ET): Alright, enough about the Asics. Time for us to lace up and tackle the day. Let’s get to work, team.
