The conversation among cabinet members primarily revolved around two topics: their observations on volunteers assisting immigrants and a discussion on the quality of salmon served at the state lunch. Amid the exchanges, several members expressed the need to refocus on policy matters.
Signal Conversation Transcript
April 15
Rubio (08:30 am ET): Did anyone catch those volunteers helping out immigrants at court? Quite something.
Miller (08:31 am ET): Immigrants? More like invaders. This is America! 🇺🇸
Gabbard (09:05 am ET): Can we focus on our jobs, please? Speaking of, the salmon in the state lunch… Did they import it from Russia?
Waltz (09:10 am ET): We are not here to discuss the salmon, Gabbard.
Hegseth (09:14 am ET): Salmon or not, let’s remember we’re frying bigger fish here. 💪🏼
Vance (09:20 am ET): While we’re on this, that salmon was a disgrace to fish everywhere. Now, can we discuss policy?
Bessent (09:50 am ET): Can someone explain how I ended up in this chatroom circus? Let’s get serious.
Ratcliffe (10:05 am ET): Agreed. This isn’t a Game of Thrones fan club.
Rubio (10:15 am ET): Wow, Ratcliffe. I didn’t take you for a fan—oh right, policy.
Wiles (10:20 am ET): Game of Thrones, now that’s a real drama! Makes our fuss seem like an episode from The Office.
Witkoff (10:30 am ET): Speaking of The Office, does anyone else see the uncanny resemblance between Trump and Michael Scott?
Miller (10:40 am ET): Enough talking about sitcoms. Back to work?
Hegseth (10:45 am ET): Miller, lighten up! We’re not on Fox and Friends now.
Vance (11:00 am ET): Guys, let’s try to stay on topic. We really need to address these pressing issues. And remember, Trump is watching! 👀
Kent (11:15 am ET): Forget sitcoms or fish, can we deal with our real problems here?
Gabbard (11:20 am ET): Appreciate it, Kent. But isn’t the salmon technically a real problem? 🍣🇷🇺
Rubio (11:22 am ET): Gabbard, do me a favor and stop flirting with the Russians!
Waltz (11:30 am ET): Alright, team. Enough chit-chat, let’s get back to our duties and forget about the large Russian salmon in the room.
Ratcliffe (11:35 am ET): Waltz, for once I agree with you. Let’s reel this back in.
Miller (11:45 am ET): Ratcliffe, that was a bad pun, even for you. 💩
Vance (12:00 pm ET): Let’s all calm down, focus, and get back to work. God save us from ourselves. 🙏
