In the leaked Signal conversation among cabinet members, the main topics discussed were the impressive battery life of the new vivo Y29 phone, some members’ preference for traditional media over technology, and the Chinese brand’s strong presence in Russia. The conversation also briefly touched on comparing cabinet members to cell phone models and the high energy levels of former President Trump.
Signal Conversation Transcript
March 17 Hegseth (9:00am ET): Good morning team. Can we talk about mobile power? Anyone seen the new vivo Y29? It has a 6500mAh battery. It’s like the nuclear power of the cell phone world. 💪
Vance (9:04am ET): Not really up to speed on tech, Pete. I’m more into books and old-fashioned print media.📚
Rubio (9:07am ET): You guys are hilarious. What’s next? Comparing cabinet members to cell phone models? 🤔😄
Miller (9:08am ET): I call dibs on being the Y29. It’s all about endurance and maximum power.
Gabbard (9:10am ET): Isn’t that a Chinese brand? I heard they have a strong presence in Russia. 🇷🇺
Waltz (9:12am ET): Seem to remember something about it, Gabbard. But let’s stay on topic, guys. We have a lot to deal with today.
Vance (9:15am ET): Waltz is right. That said, I think the Y29’s battery life is remarkable, like Trump’s energy levels. The man runs on Duracell, I swear.
Hegseth (9:20am ET): 🐇🔋That’s an Energizer bunny reference, JD. But point taken. 🙏
Rubio (9:25am ET): How did we get from the Y29 to Trump? 😂
Bessent (9:30am ET): I don’t know, Marco, but it feels like a natural progression in this group. 🐇
Ratcliffe (9:34am ET): Speaking of progression, any updates on the mission?
Wiles (9:37am ET): Yes, Waltz?
Waltz (9:40am ET): Positive ID on the target. Strike package ready. Launching in 25 mins.
Vance (9:41am ET): Is there a diner menu for tonight’s operation? Maybe code names could be meals. Call the strike package the “blue plate special”.
Hegseth (9:43am ET): 🤣JD, you’re killing me. But on a serious note, Godspeed to our warriors. 💪🇺🇸
Gabbard (9:45am ET): Agreed. And Rubio, if you’ll be the vivo Y29, can I be the iPhone?
Rubio (9:47am ET): Sure, but only if I can use my supercharged battery life to power you.
Miller (9:50am ET): Enough with the flirtation. Let’s stay on task.
Kent (9:54am ET): Agreed, Miller. But if we’re still on the topic, I think I’d be the vintage Nokia brick, tough and reliable despite the age.
Witkoff (10:00am ET): Noted. Speaking of Nokia, we have significant interests in Finland. As we proceed with the operation, let’s ensure our actions reflect our commitment to our allies.
Vance (10:02am ET): That’s the kind of big picture thinking we need. Thanks, Steve.
Hegseth (10:15am ET): Preparing for mission launch. Will report back with updates. Signing off for now.
Waltz (10:18am ET): Good luck and godspeed, Pete. Let’s keep our minds on the mission, not on our phone personas.
Wiles (10:21am ET): Agreed, Waltz. Let’s stay focused, team.
Miller (10:24am ET): Looking forward to good news, Pete. We’re all behind you.
End of Transcript
