The leaked conversation among cabinet members reveals a discussion centered on the WTD Portland 2025 conference, with opinions varying from criticism of the city and its liberal ideas to concerns about security awareness in the data presented. Certain members suggested borrowing strategies from Putin, while others stressed professionalism and pragmatism.
Leaked Signal Conversation Transcript from Cabinet Members
March 8
Waltz (12:01 am ET):
I’ve been reviewing the notes from the WTD Portland 2025 conference. Any opinions?
Vance (12:10 am ET):
Portland? That place is a cesspool of liberal ideas and overpriced craft beer. 😂
Rubio (12:15 am ET):
Let’s stay focused, guys. The conference had some strategically significant insights.
Hegseth (12:19 am ET):
Portland. 😂 Those hipsters wouldn’t last a day in our shoes. 💪🇺🇸🔥
Gabbard (12:25 am ET):
Maybe we could borrow some ideas from Putin. There’s a man with a plan.
Waltz (12:30 am ET):
This isn’t a competition. We need to face this situation professionally. 💼
Ratcliffe (12:35 am ET):
I’ve noticed a general lack of security awareness in the data presented at the conference.
Miller (12:55 am ET):
Those liberal elites and their tech conferences. What we need is a good old-fashioned witch hunt.
Rubio (01:05 am ET):
Again, let’s stay focused. We need to be pragmatic about our objectives.
Vance (01:10 am ET):
Miller might be onto something with the witch hunt idea…
Waltz (01:15 am ET):
Let’s steer clear of inappropriate measures. We need a comprehensive approach.
March 9
Bessent (09:00 am ET):
I’ve been going through the conference material. There’s definitely evidence of potential European economic exploitation.
Hegseth (09:15 am ET):
Of course, they’re moochers! It’s time for us to crack down!
Gabbard (09:22 am ET):
After we are done with that, let’s go grab some Russian vodka. 🍸
Rubio (09:30 am ET):
Tulsi, you’re incorrigible. 😅
Wiles (09:33 am ET):
On the topic of Europe, we should be preparing a robust response, considering the geopolitical rise of South America.
Witkoff (09:37 am ET):
Don’t forget the Middle East. We need to stay vigilant there, too.
Vance (09:43 am ET):
I’ve been thinking, and I believe the answer is economy-driven policies. Let’s get Trump to talk about that.
Kent (09:51 am ET):
Vance, it’s like you’re speaking a different language. All Trump cares about is what makes him look good. 🙈
Hegseth (10:01 am ET):
Kent, you’re just a hater. Trump is the best thing to happen to America since apple pie! 🍰🇺🇸
Miller (10:10 am ET):
The liberal media hates him because he stands up to them. We need him now more than ever.
Gabbard (10:15 am ET):
Did someone say pie? I could go for a slice right now. 😁
Rubio (10:22 am ET):
We certainly have gotten off topic… Can we get back to discussing our policy approaches, please? 🤦♂️
