In a leaked Signal conversation, cabinet members discussed the progress of a covert government operation dubbed ‘Operation Hutch Makeover.’ The operation, which is metaphorical in nature, appears to be linked to significant impending changes and potential aid to Europe, which will come at a substantial cost.
Title: ‘Leaked Signal Conversation: Cabinet Members Discuss Execution of A Covert Government Operation’
March 18
Waltz (10:15 am ET):
Team, update on Operation Hutch Makeover. Status: GREEN. I’ll keep you abreast of the progress. Godspeed.
Vance (10:17 am ET):
I’ll look forward to the ‘before and after’ of Operation Hutch Makeover. 🧐
Hegseth (10:19 am ET):
The ‘before’ is bound to be a little rough around the edges, but I’m confident we’ll attain the ‘after’ we’re aiming for.💪🇺🇸
Rubio (10:22 am ET):
Should we be discussing our plans over Signal like this? I mean, I enjoy a good makeover as much as the next person, but…
Miller (10:24 am ET):
No need to fret, Marco. We’re only discussing Operation Hutch Makeover. It’s strictly metaphorical for the changes we’re about to implement. Potus has expressed his full blessing. As for our European “friends”… Suffice to say, any help we provide to salvage their sinking ship will come with a hefty price tag.
Gabbard (10:33 am ET):
Speaking of makeovers, have any of you watched Russian makeover shows? They are quite fascinating.
Vance (10:37 am ET):
Tulsi, this is hardly the time for pop culture references. 🙄
Gabbard (10:40 am ET):
But seriously, can we not learn something from the Russians? They’re revolutionizing vanity, after all.
Hegseth (10:45 am ET):
Let’s keep the focus, people. We’re not here to talk about Russian vanity shows or European moochers. We’re here to plan Operation Hutch Makeover.
Bessent (10:47 am ET):
Agreed. The sooner we get this “Hutch” sorted, the sooner everyone can go back to watching whatever vanity shows they prefer.
Rubio (10:53 am ET):
Scott’s got a point. Let’s stay focused.
Ratcliffe (10:55 am ET):
Don’t tell me you’re a fan of those shows too, Marco.
Rubio (10:57 am ET):
John, my appreciation for reality TV is not the point of this conversation.
Vance (10:59 am ET):
Let’s just get this Hutch Makeover done and dusted, gentlemen. And Tulsi.
Gabbard (11:01 am ET):
Stop flirting with me, Vance. We have a job to do.
Vance (11:03 am ET):
Believe me, Tulsi, that was far from flirting.
Wiles (11:07 am ET):
Gentlemen, shall we get back to Operation Hutch Makeover?
Witkoff (11:09 am ET):
I second that. We have a mission to complete here.
Miller (11:11 am ET):
Right, let’s stick to the task at hand.
Kent (11:13 am ET):
I concur. Let’s make Operation Hutch Makeover a success.
Vance (11:15 am ET):
Alright, team. Let’s get to it. And remember: Potus is counting on us. Failure is not an option.
Ratcliffe (11:17 am ET):
Time to make the Hutch great again!
