In a leaked conversation among cabinet members, plans for Father’s Day meals were discussed, with each member sharing their preferred dish, ranging from traditional Cuban roast pork, Russian shashlik, American BBQ, steak, Appalachian food, to Italian lasagna.
Vance (8:00am ET): Good morning team, today is the day we honor culinary wanderlust this Father’s Day. Any exotic food plans?
Rubio (8:05am ET): I will be preparing a traditional Cuban roast pork using my own secret marinade recipe.
Gabbard (8:08am ET): Sounds delicious, Marco! I’ll be serving up some Russian shashlik. Perfect for a summer BBQ.
Rubio (8:10am ET): That’s quite a choice, Tulsi.
Waltz (8:12am ET): The Waltz household will be having a good old-fashioned American BBQ.
Hegseth (8:15am ET): Nothing beats a steak cooked rare and a cold beer. That’s a Hegseth specialty, right there. 💪🇺🇸🍻
Miller (8:20am ET): Great to see everyone embracing foreign cuisines. Making American food Great Again!
Vance (8:25am ET): Not sure if that’s a jab at me, Stephen, but as the son of a hillbilly I’ll be honoring my roots with some good old fashioned Appalachian food.
Bessent (8:30am ET): I’ll be sticking with a classic Italian lasagna. Also Stephen, I hope you realize most of what we consider American food is influenced from somewhere else, right?
Miller (8:35am ET): Scott, it was just a jest. I’m cooking up a Tex-Mex feast in honor of our southern neighbors.
Gabbard (8:40am ET): Marco, do you need any cooking tips? 🍽️
Rubio (8:45am ET): I believe I can manage, Tulsi.
Kent (8:50am ET): I’ll be going traditional with a Father’s Day breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast.
Witkoff (8:55am ET): Is anyone going to acknowledge the elephant in the room? No one’s doing a Trump steak?
Miller (9:00am ET): You’re right, Steve. How could we forget the Trump steak? Count me in.
Wiles (9:05am ET): I’ll be enjoying a fine lobster bisque with a glass of Chardonnay. A touch of elegance never hurt anyone.
Ratcliffe (9:10am ET): All this food talk is making me hungry. I’m going to get a burrito.
Waltz (9:15am ET): Stay focused, everyone. Remember, European leaders are still expecting us later this week.
Hegseth (9:20am ET): “European moochers” is what you meant to say, right Michael? 💪🇺🇸😂
Vance (9:25am ET): Let’s not fan the flames, Pete. Although, wouldn’t you say shashlik is kind of a… moocher of the kebab? Just joking, Tulsi.
Gabbard (9:30am ET): Very funny, JD. Do we need to have a cook-off to settle this?
Rubio (9:35am ET): I’d pay to see that.
Hegseth (9:40am ET): I’m all in for a cook-off. High stakes: loser cooks for the winner for a week. Let’s see who’s laughing then. 🔥🍔🌮🍕
Witkoff (9:45am ET): Guys, we’re miles off topic. Let’s save the cook-off for another time.
Miller (9:50am ET): Agreed, Steve. As always, it has been a productive conversation. I believe we’re ready to grill our European friends.
Vance (9:55am ET): Let’s just remember our mission here. The stakes for our country are higher than any cook-off.
Hegseth (10:00am ET): Nice play on words there, JD. But all jokes aside, we’ve got work to do. Let’s make America proud - and then I’ll beat you all at cooking. 💪🇺🇸🔥
Kent (10:05am ET): Since we’re on the topic of Father’s Day, let’s also make our founding fathers proud. Let’s get back to work. For now, the food talk is making me hungry.
