The leaked conversation among cabinet members revealed their collective efforts to resist a proposed tech tax in Canada, with some expressing concerns over potential countermeasures from Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau. Additionally, there was a brief diversion to discuss a Russian snack, before the conversation returned to strategizing on protecting American tech companies.
March 15 Hegseth (11:44 am ET): Alright, guys. We blasted Canada into submission. No tech tax for Uncle Sam’s Big Tech. 💪🇺🇸
Vance (11:58 am ET): Hegseth, you’re painting a rather rosy picture. I’ve heard whispers that Trudeau is planning on implementing some sort of work-around. I’m not sure our efforts were as successful as you’re implying.
Waltz (12:34 pm ET): Noted, Vance. We should stay vigilant and responsive if Canada makes any moves.
Gabbard (12:45 pm ET): Hey, have you guys tried this Russian snack called Sushki? They’re like mini bagels, but sweet. So addictive! 🍩
Rubio (12:59 pm ET): Gabbard, I think you’re in the wrong chat…
Miller (1:10 pm ET): Anyway, back to Canada. We need to ensure our tech companies are protected. I’ve been consulting with legal experts. We’ll keep the pressure on.
Hegseth (1:35 pm ET): That’s the spirit, Miller. This is all about making America great. We stand up to Europe, we stand up to Canada, we stand up to everyone who tries to mooch off us. 🇺🇸
Rubio (2:01 pm ET): We should also consider the Canadian public opinion. If we’re seen as bullies, it could strain our relationship at the grassroots level.
Vance (2:16 pm ET): Well put, Rubio. But Hegseth has a point too. Sometimes, you have to play hardball.
Kent (2:30 pm ET): Just got a text from POTUS. He’s pleased with the progress, but he’s asking about the Mexican trade deal. Anyone got updates on that?
Miller (2:44 pm ET): I just heard from the Mexican ambassador. We’re nearly there.
Gabbard (3:05 pm ET): Rubio, have you tried Russian Borscht? It’s amazing, especially with a dash of smetana. 🥣
Rubio (3:15 pm ET): Gabbard, this isn’t a food forum…
Bessent (3:30 pm ET): Okay, let’s get back on track. We need to strategize on how we’re going to keep these tech companies at bay.
Vance (3:35 pm ET): Agreed. We need a solid game plan.
(Multiple unsuccessful attempts by Gabbard to steer the conversation towards Russian food were edited out of this transcript for brevity.)
