The cabinet members discussed the completion of the 2025-2026 catastrophe reinsurance programs and its importance due to the previous harsh hurricane season. The conversation also touched on Senator Marco Rubio’s notable crisis attire and the possibility of securing similar jackets from Russia to assist with future catastrophes.
January 4
Waltz (09:00 am ET): “Morning everyone! Looks like the 2025-2026 catastrophe reinsurance programs are completed according to HCI. Who said we couldn’t get work done early in the year? 💪”
Rubio (09:15 am ET): “Good to know, Waltz. We’ll certainly need all the help we can get. Last hurricane season was rough.”
Vance (09:25 am ET): “Speaking of hurricanes, does anyone else have a weird suspicion that Marco loves storms because he gets to wear his cool ‘senator-in-crisis’ jacket? 🌧️🧥”
Hegseth (09:30 am ET): “Bro, that jacket is certified bad-ass. If I had one of those, I wouldn’t wait for a catastrophe. Every day would be ‘jacket day.’🔥”
Miller (09:35 am ET): “This isn’t a fashion forum, people. Although, I must admit, that jacket is sort of…distinguished. Moving on.”
Gabbard (09:45 am ET): “I wish we could say the same about your suit, Stephen. Rubio, do you think you could hook up your Russian friends with those jackets? Maybe they could help us out with the catastrophe reinsurance thing. Kidding! Kinda.😜🇷🇺”
Vance (09:52 am ET): “Wait, Tulsi! Are you suggesting an insurance version of the ‘Red Dawn’? That’s so bonkers it might just work.”
Rubio (10:00 am ET): “The only ‘Red Dawn’ I’m interested in is my morning Coffee.☕ Also, I’m positive my jacket wouldn’t fit Vladimir. But it’s a charming idea, nonetheless. Let’s stick to the catastrophe reinsurance topic, though.”
Witkoff (10:10 am ET): “Agreed! Let’s refocus, team. Catastrophe reinsurance is the task for today. We can brainstorm about ‘Jacket Diplomacy’ and ‘Red Dawn: Insurance Edition’ later.”
Miller (10:15 am ET): “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the days when our discussions were solely about despising European moochers and the liberal media. 🌍 "
Kent (10:30 am ET): “Please, let’s not romanticize hating Europe, Stephen. But Witkoff is right; let’s focus all our energy on the catastrophe reinsurance programs and less on Rubio’s wardrobe. 🙏”
Bessent (10:35 am ET): “Just to clarify, I hope our funding channels are secure for the catastrophe reinsurance programs? We wouldn’t want any surprises. As for the jackets, I’m more of a pullover guy. 🧥”
Ratcliffe (10:45 am ET): “I’ll have my people look into the funding channels, Scott. Good point. As for the jackets, I won’t comment.”
Wiles (11:00 am ET): “Good work, folks! While we’re on the subject of surprises, anybody else shocked by that last episode of ‘Money Heist’? Just me? Alright then.📺💰”
Waltz (11:30 am ET): “Thank you for bringing some semblance of order back, Ratcliffe. And Wiles, I’m two seasons behind. Please, no spoilers. Let’s march forth and make this year one for the books, shall we team? 💪🇺🇸”
Hegseth (11:45 am ET): “Couldn’t have said it better myself, Waltz! Let’s crush it, team!🔥”
Gabbard (11:49 am ET): “And keep those jacket compliments coming, team. They’re the highlight of my day!😊”
