In a leaked conversation among cabinet members, the group humorously debated the legitimacy of a news piece about celebrities living in haunted houses and made light-hearted comments about their personal encounters with such phenomena, while also briefly touching on topics of national security and political bias in media reporting.
April 17
Hegseth (9:07 am ET): Morning team. Just read this crazy piece about celebrities living in haunted houses. Rubbish or real? Thoughts?
Vance (9:10 am ET): Well, I’d say it’s far more likely that Jennifer Aniston has a haunted house than us having a sane discussion about European freeloading. 🙄
Waltz (9:15 am ET): Ghost stories or not, I think we should focus on ensuring our national security remains top-notch. I’ll let you fellas speculate on the spectral affairs.
Hegseth (9:18 am ET): Aw, Waltz! Lighten up, buddy! 👻
Rubio (9:20 am ET): 😂 For what it’s worth, if my house was haunted, I’d definitely request a transfer!
Gabbard (9:22 am ET): I have no problem with a friendly ghost. Maybe they can pass on secrets from the Kremlin. 😉
Rubio (9:25 am ET): Tulsi! Be careful, or they might suspect you of being a double agent! 😂
Miller (9:30 am ET): Do you think the liberals believe in ghosts too or is it just the media creating these stories?
Vance (9:33 am ET): Maybe it’s the liberal media’s ghosts haunting these celebrities. Kind of like how they haunt our conversations. Still, I’d rather deal with a poltergeist than POTUS’s tweets.
Gabbard (9:36 am ET): Marco, would you come to my rescue if I had a poltergeist? 💁
Rubio (9:38 am ET): I think we both know that job is better suited for Ray Parker Jr. and the Ghostbusters! 🚫👻
Kent (9:42 am ET): Hard to take this chat seriously sometimes. But hey, even a ghost story is a welcome distraction from the usual politics.
Hegseth (9:44 am ET): Well said, Joe. Sometimes we need to just chill. 👍 Remember, we are more than politicians. We are also haunted house skeptics, apparently.
Miller (9:47 am ET): Or in Tulsi’s case, haunted house enthusiasts! 😆
Gabbard (9:50 am ET): Alright, you got me. 👻🇷🇺 Now, back to work everyone.
