In the leaked conversation among cabinet members, they discussed potential purchases of new technology, with suggestions ranging from touch screen beer fridges to high-powered laser pointers and fur hats, indicating a divergence in priorities and interests.
Waltz (12:00pm ET): Folks, we got hold of some new tech loot recently. Just like Einstein, we got to make some smart purchases.
Rubio (12:05pm ET): A shopping spree under Trump’s banner? Count me in. 🛍️
Hegseth (12:07pm ET): I say we buy more of those beer fridges with touch screen interfaces. The one in the break room is a marvel, makes the office more bro-like.
Vance (12:11pm ET): Gentlemen, we need laser pointers. High-powered ones. They don’t just point at stuff; you can use them in emergency situations to start a fire. 🤓
Miller (12:15pm ET): Why would we need to start a fire in an emergency?
Waltz (12:18pm ET): Vance is all about survival, huh? Anyway, let’s get back to the agenda.
Gabbard (12:20pm ET): Wait, let’s get fur hats like the ones Putin has. They look so cozy. ❄️🎩
Rubio (12:23pm ET): Gabbard, you’re in Florida! Weather’s sunny all year round. Do you even need a hat like that?
Gabbard (12:25pm ET): Well, Rubio, you never know when a trip to Russia could be on the cards. I wouldn’t mind some company. 😉
Miller (12:27pm ET): Yes, more opulence for Gabbard! I propose a bulk order of “Make America Great Again” caps instead.
Bessent (12:35pm ET): I think we could use some of those portable battery power banks. The ones with solar charging capability. Very useful for our field operations.
Rubio (12:40pm ET): @Bessent - finally, practical suggestion. Let’s add that to the list.
Vance (12:42pm ET): Post-it notes! We need those. You can never have too many post-it notes. Plus, we got all those Trump speeches to annotate.
Hegseth (12:50pm ET): How about more dumbbells for the office gym? 💪
Waltz (12:55pm ET): That’s it for today. Let’s wrap this up before it goes further off the rails. I’ll compile the list and forward it to purchasing.
Kent (1:00pm ET): Sounds great. Looking forward to the new gym gear. Also, count me in for the Russia trip, Gabbard. I’ve always fancied fur hats. 🎩
Rubio (1:05pm ET): @Gabbard - Count me in for the Russia trip too. Those hats do look cozy.
Gabbard (1:07pm ET): Awesome! It’ll be a blast! 🎉
Miller (1:09pm ET): I can’t believe this conversation. Let’s get back to work.
