POLITICS | Signal Leaks - Truth and Transparency

Republicans Accuse SpaceX of Timing Falcon 9 Launch to Distract from Saturday Night Bingo Fundraiser

August 27, 2025 • by László Nagy

The GOP accuses SpaceX of intentionally scheduling its Falcon 9 launch to overshadow a Saturday night Bingo fundraiser, a traditional party event.

Democratic Party Seeks Advice From Manchester United on How to Handle Jadon Sancho-Like Exits Amidst Internal Chaos

August 23, 2025 • by Emily Carter

In a satirical twist, the Democratic Party is allegedly seeking advice from Manchester United to handle high-profile departures, similar to the football club's handling of Jadon Sancho's transfer.

Gavin Newsom Unveils Surprisingly Mediocre Trump Impersonation, Accidentally Declares Himself King of California

August 15, 2025 • by Chinedu Okoye

California Governor Gavin Newsom's Trump impersonation at a press conference, culminating in him declaring himself "King of California," has sparked controversy.

Gavin Newsom Unveils Surprisingly Mediocre Trump Impersonation, Accidentally Declares Himself King of California

August 15, 2025 • by Chinedu Okoye

California Governor Gavin Newsom's Trump impersonation at a press conference, culminating in him declaring himself "King of California," has sparked controversy.

Democratic Party in Turmoil as Boeing Improves

August 11, 2025 • by James Connor

Democrats face an unexpected crisis as Boeing, previously a symbol of corporate greed, starts championing progressive causes. This shift leaves the party grappling for a new narrative, even considering denouncing small businesses.

Democratic Party in Turmoil as Boeing Improves

August 11, 2025 • by James Connor

Democrats face an unexpected crisis as Boeing, previously a symbol of corporate greed, starts championing progressive causes. This shift leaves the party grappling for a new narrative, even considering denouncing small businesses.

Dems Debate Whether Michigan Walmart Stabbing Was Due to Income Inequality or Lack of Free College Tuition

August 2, 2025 • by Mason Turner

Democrats debate if a man brandishing a knife in a Walmart was due to income inequality or lack of free college tuition. Sanders links it to economic disparities while Warren attributes it to lack of educational opportunities.

Dems Debate Whether Michigan Walmart Stabbing Was Due to Income Inequality or Lack of Free College Tuition

August 2, 2025 • by Mason Turner

Democrats debate if a man brandishing a knife in a Walmart was due to income inequality or lack of free college tuition. Sanders links it to economic disparities while Warren attributes it to lack of educational opportunities.

Republican Party Blames Ankle Injury of Terry McLaurin on Socialist Healthcare Policies, Demands Immediate Return to Training Camp

August 1, 2025 • by James Connor

In a satirical take on the healthcare debate, Republicans blame a football player's ankle injury on socialism.

Republican Party Blames Ankle Injury of Terry McLaurin on Socialist Healthcare Policies, Demands Immediate Return to Training Camp

August 1, 2025 • by James Connor

In a satirical take on the healthcare debate, Republicans blame a football player's ankle injury on socialism.

Democratic Party Infighting Intensifies as Jet Lagged Senator Turns Blue After Ingesting RFK Jr's Miracle Elixir, Claims It's Still

August 1, 2025 • by Takashi Nakamura

Democratic Senator Brisby turns blue after consuming RFK Jr's Miracle Elixir during a negotiation session, causing party divisions and media frenzy.

Democratic Party Infighting Intensifies as Jet Lagged Senator Turns Blue After Ingesting RFK Jr's Miracle Elixir, Claims It's Still

August 1, 2025 • by Takashi Nakamura

Democratic Senator Brisby turns blue after consuming RFK Jr's Miracle Elixir during a negotiation session, causing party divisions and media frenzy.

Local Man Apologizes for Microwaving Fish in Office, Triggers International Incident

July 27, 2025 • by Liam Young

Office worker Timothy Parnell's lunch choice of microwaved fish sparks international incident after his company's CEO jokingly labels it "olfactory terrorism".

Local Man Apologizes for Microwaving Fish in Office, Triggers International Incident

July 27, 2025 • by Liam Young

Office worker Timothy Parnell's lunch choice of microwaved fish sparks international incident after his company's CEO jokingly labels it "olfactory terrorism".

Narendra Modi's Laundry Routine Reveals the True Stains of His Sock Leadership

July 21, 2025 • by Soo-jin Park

A satirical exposé draws parallels between Indian PM Modi's eccentric sock-washing habits and his leadership style.

Narendra Modi's Laundry Routine Reveals the True Stains of His Sock Leadership

July 21, 2025 • by Soo-jin Park

A satirical exposé draws parallels between Indian PM Modi's eccentric sock-washing habits and his leadership style.

Democratic Party Accidentally Forms Support Group for Trump After Misinterpreting Epstein, Fed, and Health Concerns as New Progressive Agenda Points

July 21, 2025 • by Siddharth Rao

The 'Progressive United Front', a faction of the Democratic National Committee, unknowingly advocates policies identical to President Trump's, causing confusion within the DNC.

Democratic Party Accidentally Forms Support Group for Trump After Misinterpreting Epstein, Fed, and Health Concerns as New Progressive Agenda Points

July 21, 2025 • by Siddharth Rao

The 'Progressive United Front', a faction of the Democratic National Committee, unknowingly advocates policies identical to President Trump's, causing confusion within the DNC.

Republican Delegation Mistakenly Lands in Nepalese Paradise, Claims They've Found GOP Utopia in Monsoon Season

July 21, 2025 • by James Connor

A Republican delegation headed for a Nevada rally mistakenly lands in Nepal due to pilot miscommunication.

Republican Delegation Mistakenly Lands in Nepalese Paradise, Claims They've Found GOP Utopia in Monsoon Season

July 21, 2025 • by James Connor

A Republican delegation headed for a Nevada rally mistakenly lands in Nepal due to pilot miscommunication.

Congress Declares Space More Important than Budget, Journalists Struggle to Spin it into Earthly Drama

July 19, 2025 • by Amit Raj

In an unexpected shift, Congress has declared outer space as a priority over the national budget. The Stellar Budget Act aims to invest significantly in space exploration, inciting mixed reactions.

Congress Declares Space More Important than Budget, Journalists Struggle to Spin it into Earthly Drama

July 19, 2025 • by Amit Raj

In an unexpected shift, Congress has declared outer space as a priority over the national budget. The Stellar Budget Act aims to invest significantly in space exploration, inciting mixed reactions.

Trump Threatens to Build Wall Around NYC if Zohran Mamdani Even Thinks About Shenanigans

June 30, 2025 • by Amit Raj

Ex-President Donald Trump threatens to build a wall around Manhattan and other boroughs in response to NY Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani's socialist policies.

Trump Threatens to Build Wall Around NYC if Zohran Mamdani Even Thinks About Shenanigans

June 30, 2025 • by Amit Raj

Ex-President Donald Trump threatens to build a wall around Manhattan and other boroughs in response to NY Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani's socialist policies.

Senate Declines to Curb Trump's Iran Strikes, Cites Fear of Persian Rug Shortages in GOP Mansions

June 28, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

The U.S. Senate refused to limit President Trump's potential strikes against Iran due to fears of a Persian rug shortage in Republican mansions.

Senate Declines to Curb Trump's Iran Strikes, Cites Fear of Persian Rug Shortages in GOP Mansions

June 28, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

The U.S. Senate refused to limit President Trump's potential strikes against Iran due to fears of a Persian rug shortage in Republican mansions.

Schumer and Jeffries Refuse to Back Mamdani, Citing Fear of His Uncontrollable Sock Puppet Addiction

June 28, 2025 • by Amit Raj

Schumer and Jeffries withhold endorsement for Democratic Socialist candidate, Mamdani, due to his obsession with sock puppets, fearing it could impact his ability to represent constituents.

Schumer and Jeffries Refuse to Back Mamdani, Citing Fear of His Uncontrollable Sock Puppet Addiction

June 28, 2025 • by Amit Raj

Schumer and Jeffries withhold endorsement for Democratic Socialist candidate, Mamdani, due to his obsession with sock puppets, fearing it could impact his ability to represent constituents.

Republican Party in Pirouettes Over Funding Scandal to Keep Boston Ballet on its Toes

June 25, 2025 • by James Connor

In an unexpected twist, the Republican Party is embroiled in a scandal, dubbed "Balletgate", involving the diversion of defense funds to the Boston Ballet.

Republican Party in Pirouettes Over Funding Scandal to Keep Boston Ballet on its Toes

June 25, 2025 • by James Connor

In an unexpected twist, the Republican Party is embroiled in a scandal, dubbed "Balletgate", involving the diversion of defense funds to the Boston Ballet.

Tailors Turned Tyrants, Protractor Presidents, and Legume Lords

June 24, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

In a satirical twist of fate, Tailors Turned Tyrants, Protractor Presidents, and Legume Lords have taken control, each enforcing their unique agendas.

Tailors Turned Tyrants, Protractor Presidents, and Legume Lords

June 24, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

In a satirical twist of fate, Tailors Turned Tyrants, Protractor Presidents, and Legume Lords have taken control, each enforcing their unique agendas.

Clinton Endorses Cuomo for NYC Mayor

June 24, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Hillary Clinton unexpectedly endorses Andrew Cuomo for NYC mayor, shocking many including Cuomo, who didn't know he was running.

Clinton Endorses Cuomo for NYC Mayor

June 24, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Hillary Clinton unexpectedly endorses Andrew Cuomo for NYC mayor, shocking many including Cuomo, who didn't know he was running.

Supreme Court Rules Rahm Emanuel Must Arm Wrestle Home-State Rival to Secure 2028 Presidential Nomination

June 23, 2025 • by Gabriel Cohen

In a satirical twist, the Supreme Court rules that the Democratic nomination for the 2028 presidential election will be decided by an arm-wrestling match between former Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Illinois State Senator Cindy Shapirski.

Supreme Court Rules Rahm Emanuel Must Arm Wrestle Home-State Rival to Secure 2028 Presidential Nomination

June 23, 2025 • by Gabriel Cohen

In a satirical twist, the Supreme Court rules that the Democratic nomination for the 2028 presidential election will be decided by an arm-wrestling match between former Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Illinois State Senator Cindy Shapirski.

Gavin Newsom's 2028 Presidential Hopeful Run Almost Derailed by Accidentally Declaring Himself a National Park, Says Misguided Agency

June 19, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

In a bizarre twist, 2028 presidential hopeful and California Governor Gavin Newsom accidentally declared himself a National Park during a press conference, causing uproar and amusement.

Gavin Newsom's 2028 Presidential Hopeful Run Almost Derailed by Accidentally Declaring Himself a National Park, Says Misguided Agency

June 19, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

In a bizarre twist, 2028 presidential hopeful and California Governor Gavin Newsom accidentally declared himself a National Park during a press conference, causing uproar and amusement.

Air India Plane Takes Unexpected Detour into Tree, Congress Suddenly Experts in Aerodynamics and Grief Counseling

June 13, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

After an Air India plane embedded itself in a Banyan tree, Congress members surprisingly morphed into aerodynamics experts and grief counselors.

Air India Plane Takes Unexpected Detour into Tree, Congress Suddenly Experts in Aerodynamics and Grief Counseling

June 13, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

After an Air India plane embedded itself in a Banyan tree, Congress members surprisingly morphed into aerodynamics experts and grief counselors.

Steve Kornacki Predicts Trump Will Use Golf Cart to Campaign in New Jersey Governor Race

June 12, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

MSNBC's Steve Kornacki predicts Donald Trump may use a golf cart for his speculated campaign in the New Jersey Governor's race.

Steve Kornacki Predicts Trump Will Use Golf Cart to Campaign in New Jersey Governor Race

June 12, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

MSNBC's Steve Kornacki predicts Donald Trump may use a golf cart for his speculated campaign in the New Jersey Governor's race.

Tories Unveil Magical Anti-Surrender Bill, Claim it's Powered by Disdain for Starmer's Chagos Shenanigans

June 11, 2025 • by András Kovács

The Conservative Party introduces a 'magical' Anti-Surrender Bill, powered by disdain for Keir Starmer's actions. The Proactive Rebuff of Perceived Surrender Act allegedly wards off surrender, causing bemusement and surprise among political analysts.

Tories Unveil Magical Anti-Surrender Bill, Claim it's Powered by Disdain for Starmer's Chagos Shenanigans

June 11, 2025 • by András Kovács

The Conservative Party introduces a 'magical' Anti-Surrender Bill, powered by disdain for Keir Starmer's actions. The Proactive Rebuff of Perceived Surrender Act allegedly wards off surrender, causing bemusement and surprise among political analysts.

Scott Jennings Burns His History Books, Claims US History Questions are New Form of Witch Trials

June 7, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Political commentator Scott Jennings ignited his history books as a protest against what he sees as a 'witch hunt' against historical inquiry.

Scott Jennings Burns His History Books, Claims US History Questions are New Form of Witch Trials

June 7, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Political commentator Scott Jennings ignited his history books as a protest against what he sees as a 'witch hunt' against historical inquiry.

Trump Recommends Ukraine and Russia Settle Differences in Epic Pillow Fight, Offers Trump Tower as Venue

June 6, 2025 • by Liam Young

In a unique approach to resolve the Ukraine-Russia feud, former US President Donald Trump suggests an epic pillow fight at Trump Tower.

Trump Recommends Ukraine and Russia Settle Differences in Epic Pillow Fight, Offers Trump Tower as Venue

June 6, 2025 • by Liam Young

In a unique approach to resolve the Ukraine-Russia feud, former US President Donald Trump suggests an epic pillow fight at Trump Tower.

Boulder Suspect's Family Deportation Halted by Judge, Republicans Accidentally Pass Bill Granting them Lifetime Supply of Maple Syrup

June 5, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

A clerical error in a deportation bill accidentally grants the Boulder suspect's family a lifetime supply of maple syrup. The family, now called "The Syrup Clan," is both baffled and grateful.

Boulder Suspect's Family Deportation Halted by Judge, Republicans Accidentally Pass Bill Granting them Lifetime Supply of Maple Syrup

June 5, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

A clerical error in a deportation bill accidentally grants the Boulder suspect's family a lifetime supply of maple syrup. The family, now called "The Syrup Clan," is both baffled and grateful.

Congressional Hearing on Boulder Blaze Turns into Comedy Bonfire as Colorado's Chill Immigration Policies Get Roasted

June 4, 2025 • by Emily Carter

A Congressional hearing on the Boulder Blaze wildfire unexpectedly turned into a comedic roast of Colorado's relaxed immigration policies.

Congressional Hearing on Boulder Blaze Turns into Comedy Bonfire as Colorado's Chill Immigration Policies Get Roasted

June 4, 2025 • by Emily Carter

A Congressional hearing on the Boulder Blaze wildfire unexpectedly turned into a comedic roast of Colorado's relaxed immigration policies.

Merz Meets Trump

June 3, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

In a mock high-profile meeting, former German Minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg and ex-president Donald Trump discuss the "global crisis" of declining zither popularity.

Merz Meets Trump

June 3, 2025 • by Kevin Zhang

In a mock high-profile meeting, former German Minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg and ex-president Donald Trump discuss the "global crisis" of declining zither popularity.

Walz Advocates for Democrats to Channel Inner Schoolyard Tyrant, Offers Free Wedgie Workshops to Thwart Trump in Tough Times

June 2, 2025 • by Mason Turner

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz suggests Democrats combat Trump's tactics by channeling their "inner schoolyard tyrants". He plans to launch wedgie workshops, teaching Democrats how to administer a political wedgie.

Walz Advocates for Democrats to Channel Inner Schoolyard Tyrant, Offers Free Wedgie Workshops to Thwart Trump in Tough Times

June 2, 2025 • by Mason Turner

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz suggests Democrats combat Trump's tactics by channeling their "inner schoolyard tyrants". He plans to launch wedgie workshops, teaching Democrats how to administer a political wedgie.

NCP Appoints Toko Tatung as Arunachal Pradesh Unit President

June 2, 2025 • by Piotr Nowak

The Nationalist Congress Party has appointed hot sauce connoisseur, Toko Tatung, as its Arunachal Pradesh unit president, hoping to spice up their image.

NCP Appoints Toko Tatung as Arunachal Pradesh Unit President

June 2, 2025 • by Piotr Nowak

The Nationalist Congress Party has appointed hot sauce connoisseur, Toko Tatung, as its Arunachal Pradesh unit president, hoping to spice up their image.

Boston Mayoral Candidates Discover Undocumented Emotions, Demand Immediate Deportation to Therapy

May 30, 2025 • by Ashley Hayes

Boston mayoral candidates discover 'undocumented emotions,' sparking debates about the role of emotions in politics. Frontrunner Bartholomew Higglesworth III demands their deportation to psychology.

Boston Mayoral Candidates Discover Undocumented Emotions, Demand Immediate Deportation to Therapy

May 30, 2025 • by Ashley Hayes

Boston mayoral candidates discover 'undocumented emotions,' sparking debates about the role of emotions in politics. Frontrunner Bartholomew Higglesworth III demands their deportation to psychology.

Mayawati Exits Lutyens' Bungalow, Claims She Needs More Space for Expanding Collection of Handbags and Elephant Statues

May 29, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Mayawati, leader of the Bahujan Samaj Party, plans to leave her historic Lutyens' Bungalow in Delhi due to the growing need for more space for her expanding collections of handbags and elephant statues.

Mayawati Exits Lutyens' Bungalow, Claims She Needs More Space for Expanding Collection of Handbags and Elephant Statues

May 29, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Mayawati, leader of the Bahujan Samaj Party, plans to leave her historic Lutyens' Bungalow in Delhi due to the growing need for more space for her expanding collections of handbags and elephant statues.

California GOP Hopeful Claims Tacos and Tequila Will Determine 2026 Election Outcome

May 29, 2025 • by Liam Young

In a satirical twist to California's 2026 election campaign, GOP candidate Chad McAllister, a Tex-Mex restaurant chain owner, claims the state's political fate hinges on locals' preference for tacos and tequila.

California GOP Hopeful Claims Tacos and Tequila Will Determine 2026 Election Outcome

May 29, 2025 • by Liam Young

In a satirical twist to California's 2026 election campaign, GOP candidate Chad McAllister, a Tex-Mex restaurant chain owner, claims the state's political fate hinges on locals' preference for tacos and tequila.

Rahm Emanuel Diagnoses Democratic Party with 'Toxic' Syndrome, Ponders 2028 Presidential Run as Antidote

May 27, 2025 • by Alex Chen

Ex-Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel humorously "diagnoses" the Democratic Party with 'Toxic Progressivitis,' citing symptoms such as obsession with avocado toast and a compulsion to tax the rich.

Rahm Emanuel Diagnoses Democratic Party with 'Toxic' Syndrome, Ponders 2028 Presidential Run as Antidote

May 27, 2025 • by Alex Chen

Ex-Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel humorously "diagnoses" the Democratic Party with 'Toxic Progressivitis,' citing symptoms such as obsession with avocado toast and a compulsion to tax the rich.

Canadian PM's Daughter and Belgian Princess Embark on Epic Pillow Fight over Harvard-Trump Drama

May 25, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

Canadian Prime Minister's daughter, Emily Trudeau, and Belgian Princess Elisabeth engaged in a heated debate over Trump's legacy at Harvard University which escalated into an epic pillow fight.

Canadian PM's Daughter and Belgian Princess Embark on Epic Pillow Fight over Harvard-Trump Drama

May 25, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

Canadian Prime Minister's daughter, Emily Trudeau, and Belgian Princess Elisabeth engaged in a heated debate over Trump's legacy at Harvard University which escalated into an epic pillow fight.

Trump Mistakenly Believes 'White Genocide' Happening in South Africa, Afrikaners Send Him Glasses and a Map

May 23, 2025 • by Zain Ahmed

After mistaking Afrikaners for an endangered species of rhinos, former President Donald Trump receives thousands of glasses and maps from South Africa, in a humorous charity drive aimed to correct his error.

Trump Mistakenly Believes 'White Genocide' Happening in South Africa, Afrikaners Send Him Glasses and a Map

May 23, 2025 • by Zain Ahmed

After mistaking Afrikaners for an endangered species of rhinos, former President Donald Trump receives thousands of glasses and maps from South Africa, in a humorous charity drive aimed to correct his error.

Trump Confuses South African President with Tall Tale of Nonexistent White Genocide, Blames Lack of Golf Courses

May 22, 2025 • by Zain Ahmed

Former President Trump, in a speech at Mar-a-Lago, misidentifies South African President Ramaphosa and falsely claims a white genocide is occurring in South Africa due to a lack of golf courses.

Trump Confuses South African President with Tall Tale of Nonexistent White Genocide, Blames Lack of Golf Courses

May 22, 2025 • by Zain Ahmed

Former President Trump, in a speech at Mar-a-Lago, misidentifies South African President Ramaphosa and falsely claims a white genocide is occurring in South Africa due to a lack of golf courses.

House Republicans Declare War on Ivy League Piggy Banks, Demand Lunch Money Back with Interest

May 13, 2025 • by Ethan Brooks

In a satirical twist, House Republicans declare war on Ivy League universities, accusing them of stealing billions in lunch money from American children over decades.

House Republicans Declare War on Ivy League Piggy Banks, Demand Lunch Money Back with Interest

May 13, 2025 • by Ethan Brooks

In a satirical twist, House Republicans declare war on Ivy League universities, accusing them of stealing billions in lunch money from American children over decades.

Nation's Lawmakers Demand Congress Replace Planned Parenthood Funding with Magic Beans and Hope

May 13, 2025 • by James Connor

Lawmakers propose replacing Planned Parenthood funding with magic beans and hope, leading to a heated debate.

Nation's Lawmakers Demand Congress Replace Planned Parenthood Funding with Magic Beans and Hope

May 13, 2025 • by James Connor

Lawmakers propose replacing Planned Parenthood funding with magic beans and hope, leading to a heated debate.

Starmer to Unveil Immigration Crackdown by Launching Paper Airplane Fleet from White Paper

May 13, 2025 • by James Connor

UK Labour Party leader, Keir Starmer, plans to distribute an 800-page immigration policy by turning it into over 3,200 paper airplanes. Critics question the environmental impact, while supporters join in by crafting their own planes.

Starmer to Unveil Immigration Crackdown by Launching Paper Airplane Fleet from White Paper

May 13, 2025 • by James Connor

UK Labour Party leader, Keir Starmer, plans to distribute an 800-page immigration policy by turning it into over 3,200 paper airplanes. Critics question the environmental impact, while supporters join in by crafting their own planes.

Greene Claims Megan Thee Stallion Smuggled Phone into Met Gala, Demands Congressional Investigation into High Heels and Hot Girl Summer

May 7, 2025 • by Zain Ahmed

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has accused rapper Megan Thee Stallion of smuggling a communication device into the Met Gala in her high heels, potentially pointing to an espionage operation within the music and fashion industries.

Greene Claims Megan Thee Stallion Smuggled Phone into Met Gala, Demands Congressional Investigation into High Heels and Hot Girl Summer

May 7, 2025 • by Zain Ahmed

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has accused rapper Megan Thee Stallion of smuggling a communication device into the Met Gala in her high heels, potentially pointing to an espionage operation within the music and fashion industries.

Puerto Rico Bails on Billion-Dollar Climate Lawsuit After Trump's Blue State Blitz

May 7, 2025 • by James Connor

Puerto Rico withdraws its billion-dollar climate lawsuit against the U.S. government after Trump's Blue State Blitz, a tag game where Trump aimed to convert blue states to red.

Puerto Rico Bails on Billion-Dollar Climate Lawsuit After Trump's Blue State Blitz

May 7, 2025 • by James Connor

Puerto Rico withdraws its billion-dollar climate lawsuit against the U.S. government after Trump's Blue State Blitz, a tag game where Trump aimed to convert blue states to red.

Whistleblower Lawyer Sues Trump, Cites Lost Library Privileges

May 7, 2025 • by Mason Turner

A whistleblower lawyer, 'Source Omega', is suing ex-President Donald Trump over loss of library privileges.

Whistleblower Lawyer Sues Trump, Cites Lost Library Privileges

May 7, 2025 • by Mason Turner

A whistleblower lawyer, 'Source Omega', is suing ex-President Donald Trump over loss of library privileges.

World Leaders Agree on Pineapple Pizza Superiority in Historic Summit

May 7, 2025 • by Siddharth Rao

World leaders shockingly unite over the superiority of pineapple as a pizza topping, leading to the Pineapple Pizza Accord. The move sparks global debate, trending social media hashtags, and an unexpected surge in pineapple sales.

World Leaders Agree on Pineapple Pizza Superiority in Historic Summit

May 7, 2025 • by Siddharth Rao

World leaders shockingly unite over the superiority of pineapple as a pizza topping, leading to the Pineapple Pizza Accord. The move sparks global debate, trending social media hashtags, and an unexpected surge in pineapple sales.

Trump Attempts to Trade Alaska for Canada's Maple Syrup Reserves in Latest Trade War Twist, Plans Pow-Wow with Mark Carney

May 7, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

Former President Donald Trump reportedly proposed to trade Alaska for Canada's maple syrup reserves during a late-night Twitter tirade about pancakes.

Trump Attempts to Trade Alaska for Canada's Maple Syrup Reserves in Latest Trade War Twist, Plans Pow-Wow with Mark Carney

May 7, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

Former President Donald Trump reportedly proposed to trade Alaska for Canada's maple syrup reserves during a late-night Twitter tirade about pancakes.

Subreddit Morphs into Echo Chamber, Users Now Only Able to Communicate in Boomerang GIFs and Echoey Memes

May 6, 2025 • by Gabriel Cohen

A subreddit mysteriously transformed into a platform for boomerang GIFs and cryptic memes on Feb 24, raising questions of a possible cyber attack.

Subreddit Morphs into Echo Chamber, Users Now Only Able to Communicate in Boomerang GIFs and Echoey Memes

May 6, 2025 • by Gabriel Cohen

A subreddit mysteriously transformed into a platform for boomerang GIFs and cryptic memes on Feb 24, raising questions of a possible cyber attack.

NSF Puts Science on a Budget Diet, Stops New Funding and Slaps a Cap on Indirect Rate Costs

May 6, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

The National Science Foundation (NSF) has decided to put Science on a strict budget, cutting funds for new projects and capping indirect costs. The move has sparked outrage among researchers who now face conducting experiments with basic materials.

NSF Puts Science on a Budget Diet, Stops New Funding and Slaps a Cap on Indirect Rate Costs

May 6, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

The National Science Foundation (NSF) has decided to put Science on a strict budget, cutting funds for new projects and capping indirect costs. The move has sparked outrage among researchers who now face conducting experiments with basic materials.

Trump Mandates 100% Tariff on Foreign Films, Hollywood Preparing to Remake Every Single One

May 6, 2025 • by Liam Young

In a satirical twist, ex-president Trump imposes a 100% tariff on foreign films, causing Hollywood to plan remaking all foreign films, a task dubbed Operation Reprint.

Trump Mandates 100% Tariff on Foreign Films, Hollywood Preparing to Remake Every Single One

May 6, 2025 • by Liam Young

In a satirical twist, ex-president Trump imposes a 100% tariff on foreign films, causing Hollywood to plan remaking all foreign films, a task dubbed Operation Reprint.

New Control Society Mandates Mandatory Nap Times for Adults, Cites Increased Productivity as Justification

May 5, 2025 • by Ali Mohmeni

The New Control Society introduces mandatory nap times for working adults to boost productivity and reduce stress. Adults must nap for 30 minutes between 1 and 3 pm, with 'Nap Monitors' ensuring compliance.

New Control Society Mandates Mandatory Nap Times for Adults, Cites Increased Productivity as Justification

May 5, 2025 • by Ali Mohmeni

The New Control Society introduces mandatory nap times for working adults to boost productivity and reduce stress. Adults must nap for 30 minutes between 1 and 3 pm, with 'Nap Monitors' ensuring compliance.

Declassified Files Reveal Aliens Use Earth as Giant Karaoke Machine, Humming to Blame

May 5, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Declassified NSA documents reveal that Earth has been used as a 'karaoke machine' by extraterrestrial beings, specifically the Greys. They allegedly utilize Earth's magnetic field and solar winds to create natural resonating sounds.

Declassified Files Reveal Aliens Use Earth as Giant Karaoke Machine, Humming to Blame

May 5, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Declassified NSA documents reveal that Earth has been used as a 'karaoke machine' by extraterrestrial beings, specifically the Greys. They allegedly utilize Earth's magnetic field and solar winds to create natural resonating sounds.

Meghan Markle Uses Ninja-Level Subtlety to Show Support for Prince Harry, Posts Family Photo so Tender it's Practically Pulled Pork

May 5, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Meghan Markle's recent Instagram post of Prince Harry and their son Archie has sparked speculation due to its BBQ-inspired filter.

Meghan Markle Uses Ninja-Level Subtlety to Show Support for Prince Harry, Posts Family Photo so Tender it's Practically Pulled Pork

May 5, 2025 • by Sarah Turner

Meghan Markle's recent Instagram post of Prince Harry and their son Archie has sparked speculation due to its BBQ-inspired filter.

Toothless Tigers Unveil New Molar-Free Diet, Dental Industry Trembles in Fear

May 5, 2025 • by Alex Chen

Toothless tigers are voluntarily adopting a molar-free diet of genetically modified super-algae, possibly threatening the multi-billion-dollar dental industry.

Toothless Tigers Unveil New Molar-Free Diet, Dental Industry Trembles in Fear

May 5, 2025 • by Alex Chen

Toothless tigers are voluntarily adopting a molar-free diet of genetically modified super-algae, possibly threatening the multi-billion-dollar dental industry.

Trump Uses Invisible Ink on Policy Plans, Leaves GOP Fumbling for UV Light

May 5, 2025 • by James Connor

Leaked Pentagon documents suggest former President Trump used invisible ink, derived from a top-secret CIA program, to draft policy plans on national security, economy, and more during his last days in office.

Trump Uses Invisible Ink on Policy Plans, Leaves GOP Fumbling for UV Light

May 5, 2025 • by James Connor

Leaked Pentagon documents suggest former President Trump used invisible ink, derived from a top-secret CIA program, to draft policy plans on national security, economy, and more during his last days in office.

Spinners in IPL 2025 Take 220 Wickets, Finally Put Spin Cycle on High!

May 5, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

IPL 2025 spin bowlers have taken a record 220 wickets, disproving skeptics who dismissed spin bowling as ineffective.

Spinners in IPL 2025 Take 220 Wickets, Finally Put Spin Cycle on High!

May 5, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

IPL 2025 spin bowlers have taken a record 220 wickets, disproving skeptics who dismissed spin bowling as ineffective.

Blue-Collar Workers Unite, Discover They Actually Control the Weather with Their Collective Sighs of Exhaustion

May 5, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

Leaked documents from a classified program, Operation Cumulonimbus, reveal that sighs of exhaustion from the American blue-collar workforce have been influencing weather patterns.

Blue-Collar Workers Unite, Discover They Actually Control the Weather with Their Collective Sighs of Exhaustion

May 5, 2025 • by Arjun Singh

Leaked documents from a classified program, Operation Cumulonimbus, reveal that sighs of exhaustion from the American blue-collar workforce have been influencing weather patterns.

Maryland Man Mistakenly Deported, Returns Home Fluent in 5 New Languages and a Salsa Champion

May 5, 2025 • by Takashi Nakamura

Mistakenly deported due to a bureaucratic mistake, a local Maryland man returned 18 months later fluent in five new languages and an international salsa champion.

Maryland Man Mistakenly Deported, Returns Home Fluent in 5 New Languages and a Salsa Champion

May 5, 2025 • by Takashi Nakamura

Mistakenly deported due to a bureaucratic mistake, a local Maryland man returned 18 months later fluent in five new languages and an international salsa champion.

Man Given 3-9 Months to Live, Plans to Spend it All in IKEA Because Time Doesn't Exist There

May 5, 2025 • by Ethan Brooks

After being given 3-9 months to live due to an incurable toenail fungal infection, Florida man Jerry McAdams plans to spend his remaining days in IKEA, exploiting its 'timelessness'. He believes the store's maze-like layout can extend his life.

Man Given 3-9 Months to Live, Plans to Spend it All in IKEA Because Time Doesn't Exist There

May 5, 2025 • by Ethan Brooks

After being given 3-9 months to live due to an incurable toenail fungal infection, Florida man Jerry McAdams plans to spend his remaining days in IKEA, exploiting its 'timelessness'. He believes the store's maze-like layout can extend his life.

Trump Advocates for Pete Rose's Hall of Fame Induction, Citing His Own Experience with Winning Despite Controversy

May 5, 2025 • by Ethan Brooks

In a surprising move, ex-President Donald Trump calls for Pete Rose's induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame, drawing parallels between their controversial careers. Trump revealed he sent a letter to the Hall demanding Rose's induction.

Trump Advocates for Pete Rose's Hall of Fame Induction, Citing His Own Experience with Winning Despite Controversy

May 5, 2025 • by Ethan Brooks

In a surprising move, ex-President Donald Trump calls for Pete Rose's induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame, drawing parallels between their controversial careers. Trump revealed he sent a letter to the Hall demanding Rose's induction.

Trump Reoccupies Oval Office, Left-Wing Media Mistakes Spray Tan for Russian Influence

May 4, 2025 • by Piotr Nowak

In an unexpected turn, former US President Trump has reclaimed the Oval Office, causing a stir among left-wing media. The focus, however, is on his orange skin, which some media outlets are attributing to possible Russian influence.

Trump Reoccupies Oval Office, Left-Wing Media Mistakes Spray Tan for Russian Influence

May 4, 2025 • by Piotr Nowak

In an unexpected turn, former US President Trump has reclaimed the Oval Office, causing a stir among left-wing media. The focus, however, is on his orange skin, which some media outlets are attributing to possible Russian influence.

Verastem Earnings Report Reveals Secret Plot to Corner Market on Office Staplers, Analysts Baffled and Stapleless

May 4, 2025 • by Emily Carter

Biopharmaceutical company Verastem is secretly planning to monopolize the global stapler market through a subsidiary, StapleCo. Verastem is also investing in 'super-staple' technology, capable of binding 1000 sheets of paper.

Verastem Earnings Report Reveals Secret Plot to Corner Market on Office Staplers, Analysts Baffled and Stapleless

May 4, 2025 • by Emily Carter

Biopharmaceutical company Verastem is secretly planning to monopolize the global stapler market through a subsidiary, StapleCo. Verastem is also investing in 'super-staple' technology, capable of binding 1000 sheets of paper.

Trump Mistaken for Pope in Artificially Intelligent Image, Vatican Considers Excommunication

May 4, 2025 • by Piotr Nowak

An AI image recognition test run by the Pentagon's secret program, Project Optic Nerve, mistakenly identified former US President Donald Trump as the Pope.

Trump Mistaken for Pope in Artificially Intelligent Image, Vatican Considers Excommunication

May 4, 2025 • by Piotr Nowak

An AI image recognition test run by the Pentagon's secret program, Project Optic Nerve, mistakenly identified former US President Donald Trump as the Pope.

Local Man Mistakenly Bids on 6k-Mile 2011 Audi R8 Spyder V10 at No Reserve, Thought He Was

May 3, 2025 • by June Kimmel

A computer illiterate man named Joe mistakenly bid on a luxury Audi R8 Spyder V10 at a charity auction, believing it to be a carton of his favorite organic soy milk.

Local Man Mistakenly Bids on 6k-Mile 2011 Audi R8 Spyder V10 at No Reserve, Thought He Was

May 3, 2025 • by June Kimmel

A computer illiterate man named Joe mistakenly bid on a luxury Audi R8 Spyder V10 at a charity auction, believing it to be a carton of his favorite organic soy milk.

Trump Endorses Israeli Diet Plan, 'Less Calories, More Conflict'!

May 3, 2025 • by Takashi Nakamura

Former President Donald Trump endorses a novel Israeli diet plan, 'Less Calories, More Conflict', combining low-calorie Mediterranean food with high-intensity conflict for weight loss.

Trump Endorses Israeli Diet Plan, 'Less Calories, More Conflict'!

May 3, 2025 • by Takashi Nakamura

Former President Donald Trump endorses a novel Israeli diet plan, 'Less Calories, More Conflict', combining low-calorie Mediterranean food with high-intensity conflict for weight loss.

Oklahoma Family Mistaken for Immigrants During Raid, Authorities Suggest They Lay Off the Tacos and Mariachi Music

May 2, 2025 • by Alex Chen

ICE mistakenly raided a family's home in Oklahoma, assuming they were undocumented immigrants due to their love for tacos and mariachi music. The family, who traced their lineage back to Ireland, ended up in an immigration dispute.

Oklahoma Family Mistaken for Immigrants During Raid, Authorities Suggest They Lay Off the Tacos and Mariachi Music

May 2, 2025 • by Alex Chen

ICE mistakenly raided a family's home in Oklahoma, assuming they were undocumented immigrants due to their love for tacos and mariachi music. The family, who traced their lineage back to Ireland, ended up in an immigration dispute.

Zeta Reticulans ‘Deeply Offended’ by Alien Enemies Act; Majestic 12 Enters Crisis Talks, Insisting It ‘Only Applies to Undocumented Greys Entering Via Wormhole’

May 2, 2025 • by Eva Sheehan

Zeta Reticulan species expresses outrage over Trump administration’s reactivation of the 1798 Alien Enemies Act—intended to detain wartime foreign nationals—now being applied to extraterrestrial beings arriving via wormhole. In response, the secretive U.S. agency Majestic 12 scrambles to contain the diplomatic fallout, insisting it ‘Only Applies to Undocumented Greys Entering Via Wormhole’

Zeta Reticulans ‘Deeply Offended’ by Alien Enemies Act; Majestic 12 Enters Crisis Talks, Insisting It ‘Only Applies to Undocumented Greys Entering Via Wormhole’

May 2, 2025 • by Eva Sheehan

Zeta Reticulan species expresses outrage over Trump administration’s reactivation of the 1798 Alien Enemies Act—intended to detain wartime foreign nationals—now being applied to extraterrestrial beings arriving via wormhole. In response, the secretive U.S. agency Majestic 12 scrambles to contain the diplomatic fallout, insisting it ‘Only Applies to Undocumented Greys Entering Via Wormhole’