Our sources deep within the labyrinth of the Trump administration’s immigration apparatus have unveiled a deceptively insidious operation. Codenamed “Operation Waistline,” it seems the former President had been putting immigration on a rigorous diet. The shocking revelation comes to light as a cascade of classified documents has been leaked from the shadowy recesses of the deep state, exposing a web of manipulation that makes Edward Snowden’s disclosures look like child’s play.

The mastermind? None other than the Diet Coke-drinking mogul himself, Donald J. Trump. According to a series of leaked memos, the administration had implemented what appeared to be a high-protein, low-carb diet on immigration. The plan was designed to drastically reduce the intake of common immigrants, while allowing certain industries to enjoy cheat days filled with the much-needed labor.

The operation not only involved the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) but also roped in the clandestine participation of the National Security Agency (NSA). Leaked documents suggest that the NSA was tasked with crafting an algorithm to identify industries that could be allowed cheat days.

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Our unnamed source, a disgruntled analyst from deep within the NSA, revealed, “The tech we used? It was out of this world, literally. We’re talking extraterrestrial tech. Stuff that could predict the future labor market with uncanny accuracy.”

Meanwhile, the DHS and ICE had reportedly been weaponizing the recidivist tendencies of a calorie-counting app, surreptitiously monitoring the consumption of labor across various industries. On the face of it, this seemed like a bizarre intersection of health and immigration policies. However, this was just the tip of the iceberg.

We have to trim the fat, make immigration lean again.

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In the leaked documents, a particular note from a high-ranking official in the Trump administration reads, “We have to trim the fat, make immigration lean again.” This hints at a broader, more systemic intention to reshape immigration like a bodybuilder doing pre-competition prep. The operation appears to have been calculated, targeting the lowest hanging fruit: sectors that were heavily dependent on immigrant labor, such as agriculture, hospitality, and construction.

But beneath the memos and carefully crafted policy documents lies a more sinister narrative. ‘Operation Waistline’ was not just a diet plan for immigration. It was a wide-scale experiment in social engineering, a deliberate attempt to reshape the demographic structure of the American workforce.

As we delve deeper into this rabbit hole, a complex network of geopolitical intrigue, coded language, and covert alliances begins to unravel. In the next part of our investigation, we will explore the role of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Central Intelligence Agency and possibly, a mysterious liaison with an interstellar council…

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As our investigation continues, we unmask the hidden role of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) in this grand experiment of demographic alchemy. It turns out that these stalwart defenders of American security were charged with an additional mission: to ensure that the diet was adhered to strictly, and that those industries enjoying ‘cheat days’ did not overindulge.

The Council has ways of seeing things. They can predict labor market trends like no earthly tech can.

One of our confidential sources, a retired FBI agent who spoke on the condition of anonymity, confessed, “We were the proverbial dietitians of this operation. We made sure the industries didn’t overeat on cheat days.” He further added, “Yes, we had to learn how MyFitnessPal works.”

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The CIA, on the other hand, seems to have been the personal trainer of the operation, flexing its covert operation muscles globally. Our information suggests that the agency might have been involved in a form of ‘international spot reduction’, selectively tightening border controls based on labor market predictions.

And then we come to the most shocking revelation yet: a mysterious liaison with what our sources cryptically refer to as the ‘Interstellar Council’. According to a heavily redacted document, there appears to be an otherworldly involvement in this operation. It hints at an alien technology that was used in crafting the predictive algorithms. Our deep throat informant dropped the nugget, “The Council has ways of seeing things. They can predict labor market trends like no earthly tech can.”

So, here we are, at the end of a tangled web spun by an elaborate collaboration between Earthly and extraterrestrial forces. ‘Operation Waistline’, in all its audacious audacity, was not just a diet plan for immigration. It was a grand experiment in demographic manipulation, a testament to the Trump administration’s unrelenting pursuit of an unorthodox way of policy implementation.

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In conclusion, one thing is clear: the diet plan of the Trump administration was far more complex and sinister than anyone could have ever imagined. And while some industries were allowed to binge on cheat days, it was the immigrant workforce that bore the brunt of this experiment. As we grapple with this reality, we must also question the ethics of such an approach, and indeed, the very essence of politics that allows for such Machiavellian maneuvers.

Remember, dear readers, the truth is out there. And here at Signal Leaks, we remain committed to bringing you the unvarnished facts, no matter how outlandish they may seem. This is a classic case of ‘you can’t make this stuff up’. Or can you? That’s up to you to decide.