In an unanticipated revelation, the Trump Administration, in collaboration with the Department of Energy’s Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA-E), has allegedly discovered an unprecedented gold deposit. The location? An unassuming suburban McDonald’s in Toledo, Ohio. The source? Leprechauns.

The confidential document, labeled “Operation Shamrock Shake,” describes a covert operation of seismic proportions. In typical bureaucratic jargon, the report details how the Administration capitalized on an uncanny alliance between ARPA-E scientists, McDonald’s Corporation, and an obscure league of Leprechaun operatives hailing from the mythical realm of Tir na nÓg.

In an audacious move, the initiative was disguised under the innocuous façade of the annual return of the Shamrock Shake, McDonald’s cult-favorite St. Patrick’s Day beverage. Unbeknownst to unsuspecting consumers, each frothy green concoction was a smokescreen, a strategic ploy designed to mask a seismic scanning operation for detecting subterranean gold deposits.

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The ARPA-E, renowned for its cutting-edge energy research, repurposed its sub-terrain resonance imaging technology, initially developed for fracking, to detect these elusive gold clusters. The technology was ingeniously installed within McDonald’s milkshake machines, turning every participating franchise into a surreptitious gold-prospecting outpost.

The Leprechauns, hitherto considered creatures of folklore, were reportedly used as sentient divining rods. Equipped with advanced ARPA-E seismic sensors and a natural affinity for gold, they were dispatched into the labyrinth of Toledo’s sewer system. Their mission: to triangulate the epicenter of the gold deposit, guided by the resonance imaging signals from the repurposed Shamrock Shake machines.

This mind-boggling revelation brings a whole new dimension to the Trump Administration’s economic policies. The operation’s profits, concealed within McDonald’s annual revenue, are speculated to have contributed to the nation’s GDP in ways that remain unaccounted for in any public economic reports.

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The document hints at the existence of a vast network of similar operations across the nation, all hidden in plain sight. The implications of this discovery are monumental, ranging from reassessments of economic stability to the re-evaluation of our understanding of mythical creatures in our society.

The mainstream media may have laughed off the Trump Administration’s fixation with fast food, but given this new disclosure, it now seems that the joke is on us. The golden arches were not just a symbol of American fast food, they were a coded message, a beacon signaling the existence of a clandestine operation that leveraged mythology, technology, and capitalism in a quest for literal pots of gold.