After a rigorous, cloak-and-dagger investigation, Signal Leaks can now reveal the next chapter in the annals of bureaucratic blunders. In the hallowed halls of love, potions, and unmitigated disaster, we’ve unearthed an improbable tale of amorous intrigue and mouth hygiene that has shaken a nondescript government office to its core. The heart of the matter? An experimental love potion, codenamed ‘Eros-514’, catastrophically mistaken for institutional-grade mouthwash.

According to clandestine sources embedded deep within the labyrinthine corridors of a mid-tier government department – names withheld for their safety – the incident traces back to a classified initiative greenlit by the Pentagon’s black budget. Known only as Project Cupid’s Quiver, the program aimed to harness the power of ancient aphrodisiacs, cutting-edge biochemistry and, arguably, the dark arts to create a substance potent enough to induce immediate romantic feelings in its subjects.

A whistle-blower from the project, known to us only as Operative Amor, reveals the sinister scope of the operation. “Eros-514 wasn’t just about making people fall in love,” the operative disclosed. “The real goal was social manipulation on a global scale, reshaping geopolitical landscapes by making key figures irresistibly drawn to each other.”

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But as fate would have it, the potent concoction was misplaced and ended up in an equally nondescript, but extraordinarily unprepared office of the government’s tax auditing department. In the most surreal twist, the unmarked bottle of Eros-514 was mistaken for an industrial-sized supply of mouthwash, leading to an unplanned office romance epidemic of biblical proportions.

In the ensuing chaos, arch-rivals became ardent lovers, while the introverted IT guy suddenly became the Casanova of the cubicles. Productivity in the office, sources say, plummeted, while the sale of roses, chocolates, and poetic greeting cards in the vicinity skyrocketed.

"The situation escalated into a full-blown romantic apocalypse," a department insider told Signal Leaks.

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“The situation escalated into a full-blown romantic apocalypse,” a department insider told Signal Leaks. “Everyone was writing sonnets, reciting Shakespeare, and making eyes at each other during budget meetings. It wasn’t just unprofessional—it was terrifying.”

The government, as is tradition, has attempted to brush this under the bureaucratic rug. But the fallout from the love potion gone awry continues to resonate. As we delve deeper into this unprecedented incident, questions arise: What were the exact components of Eros-514? Was this a calculated experiment gone wrong, or just gross negligence? And most importantly, what are the long-term effects of exposure?

In our follow-up report, we will cover these questions and many more. Stay tuned for the second half of this shocking exposé…if you dare to handle the truth.

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Our independent investigation into Eros-514 led us to the world’s leading authorities on biochemical love potions. Dr. Aphrodite Smith, who preferred to be named and hailed as the ‘Queen of Love Chemistry,’ provided us with the intrepid details of Eros-514’s composition. The potion, she revealed, was a potent cocktail of oxytocin, chocolate essence, moonlit sonnet extracts, and trace amounts of unicorn tears - an ingredient so rare and mystical that its mere mention sent shivers down the scientific community’s spine.

It wasn't just unprofessional—it was terrifying.

“The unicorn tears - that’s what amped Eros-514’s potency,” she explained. “They’re not only capable of inducing romantic feelings but also prompt poetic prowess and an insatiable desire for chocolates and roses. It’s a triple threat.”

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As for the question of gross negligence or calculated experiment, our findings point to the former. The ‘Love Potion/Mouthwash Mix-Up’, as it’s now colloquially known, was as unintentional as it was catastrophic. The bottle of Eros-514, it seems, was misplaced by an intern known only as ‘Cupid’s Errand Boy.’

“It was a simple mistake,” confessed a source close to the intern, who wished to remain anonymous. “He was supposed to deliver the potion to a secured facility for further testing, but got lost and ended up in the tax auditing department where he mistook a cabinet of mouthwash bottles for the storage vault. You can say, he shot his arrow in the wrong direction.”

The long-term effects of Eros-514 exposure, according to leading psychobiologists, could lead to a chronic condition they’ve coined as ‘Perpetual Romantic Syndrome’ (PRS). Those afflicted would remain in a constant state of amorous delusion, forever enamored with anyone crossing their path.

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“The symptoms include relentless poetry writing, perpetual daydreaming, and unending serenades,” revealed our source within the psychology community. “It’s love dialed up to an eleven.”

In the face of this revelation, the government has remained stoically silent, opting for damage control rather than transparency. But here at Signal Leaks, we continue to unsheathe the truth one scandal at a time. While the offices of the tax auditing department may forever echo with the sonnets of star-crossed lovers, we dedicate ourselves to revealing the truth about Eros-514 and its ill-fated journey from covert ops to the communal mouthwash of an unsuspecting office.

In conclusion, the ‘Love Potion/Mouthwash Mix-Up’, though nightmarishly poetic, stands as a stark reminder of the mayhem that can ensue when the tools of love fall into the wrong, albeit minty-fresh, hands.

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