SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_9954

CLASSIFIED_9954

In a surprising departure from their usual discussions, several cabinet members engaged in a conversation about skincare products, with each sharing their preferences and experiences. Despite some members showing disapproval, the conversation continued, revealing that even high-ranking officials have an interest in maintaining their personal appearance.

March 15 Hegseth (11:44 am ET): Good Morning, Gents. Grabbed myself a new budget-friendly skincare lotion. Heard it makes miracles. 💪

Vance (12.13pm ET): Really, Pete? I didn’t peg you for the skincare enthusiast.

Waltz (13:48pm ET): Just out of curiosity, Pete, what brand did you go with?

Rubio (14:01pm ET): I’m not entirely sure that’s an appropriate topic for this chat, gentlemen. But for the record, I prefer Neutrogena.

Miller (14:15pm ET): I tried a face mask one time, but I found the experience constricting. Let’s just stick to our usual topics, shall we?

Gabbard (14:22 pm ET): Aww, come on Fellas… even tough guys need good skin. Speaking of which, has anyone tried this Russian product, Babushka’s Secret? It’s amazing!

Rubio (14:33 pm ET): Tulsi, I’ll take a raincheck on the Russian product.

Vance (14:40pm ET): It’s important to stay on top of your game, and that includes how we present ourselves. However, I still think we need to concentrate more on figuring out Trump’s next move.

Hegseth (15.02pm ET): Agreed. On both points. 👍 Back to Trump’s next steps…

Kent (15.50pm ET): Are we seriously talking beauty products now? Anyway, back to the topic, we need to anticipate POTUS’s decisions better.

Bessent (16:03pm ET): I’m not even going to comment on the beauty products talk. On to more serious matters…

Ratcliffe (16:22pm ET): Vance, you seem to be forgetting a core premise here. We’re here to support POTUS, not undermine him. We need to present a united front.

Wiles (16:32pm ET): It just occurred to me, Pete, have you ever thought about getting a beauty vlog going?

Hegseth (16:33pm ET): Lol Susie, might as well put these budget beauty finds to good use! 😂 But back to the serious talk, we need to strategize our next moves well.

Vance (16.37pm ET): Here’s an idea: decentralized, localized law enforcement. Less money, more effectiveness. It’s a win-win.

Waltz (17:00pm ET): JD, that’s a good idea. Let’s schedule a brainstorming session on this.

Gabbard (17:35pm ET): Alright guys, back to important matters, has anyone tried Russian borscht? It’s 😋. Sorry couldn’t resist.

Rubio (17:45pm ET): Tulsi, you’re an enigma.

Kent (18.30pm ET): I’ll pass on the borscht, but I wouldn’t mind a good burger right about now.

Witkoff (18.45pm ET): How did we get here? 😂 Anyway, our next step should be about gaining more public support.

Vance (19.00pm ET): Steve, you’ve finally said something I can fully agree with.

Miller (19.05pm ET): You guys are ridiculous! Get back on track already! 🔥🔥