SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_9779

CLASSIFIED_9779

The cabinet members’ conversation focused on the significant financial implications of a new tax bill, which is projected to generate $2.3 trillion, and the need to justify these numbers. They also considered the public perception of this policy, particularly in Russia.

March 15 Hegseth (9:30 am ET): 🍩☕️ Morning! We’ve got big numbers to crunch, folks!

Vance (9:35 am ET): 🧮 That’s true. But first, can we discuss the gastronomical superiority of French toast over pancakes?

Miller (9:38 am ET): 🤨Duly noted Vance, but can we stick to the matter at hand.

Wiles (9:43 am ET): 🍳🥞 Too early for this banter. Getting back on track, the tax bill growth-induced deficit reduction, let’s focus on this?

Rubio (9:50 am ET): 📚 Absolutely, let’s address this and avoid going off the rails.

Waltz (10:00 am ET): 💼📈 Agreed. The projected $2.3T from this tax bill isn’t something to glance over.

Hegseth (10:03 am ET): 💪🇺🇸 POTUS will be over the moon when he hears the numbers…

Bessent (10:05 am ET): 💰💰 But can we really justify these numbers?

Vance (10:12 am ET): 🧐💭 A well-structured financial model could…

Gabbard (10:16 am ET): 🗣️ But we also need to consider how this will play out publicly. Especially in Russia…

Rubio (10:20 am ET): 🎬🍿 Gabbard, do we need to watch “Red Dawn” again?

Waltz (10:30 am ET): 🌐🕶️ Keeping the focus global, we’ll need to manage the European perception too.

Ratcliffe (10:32 am ET): 📢 Good point Waltz, we don’t want to be seen as favoring dictators and undermining allies.

Vance (10:35 am ET): 📝🕵️‍♂️ On that note, our narrative needs to subtly undermine the moaning Europeans.

Kent (10:37 am ET): 😂👏 Vance, I could kiss you! That’s brilliant.

Rubio (10:39 am ET): 💋😮 Kent, let’s avoid any inappropriate displays of affection.

Gabbard (10:41 am ET): 😅🏝️ Rubio, are you still mad about that Hawaii trip?

Miller (10:45 am ET): 🗽🤔 Well, this conversation has certainly taken an interesting turn.

Witkoff (10:47 am ET): 🍕🎉 Is it too early to suggest a pizza party to plan our public strategy?

Hegseth (10:50 am ET): 🍻🍔 Let’s not forget the beer and burgers!

Waltz (11:00 am ET): 🎖️👨‍💼 Just to remind us all, we’re a Cabinet of the United States of America.

Vance (11:05 am ET): 🗽🇺🇸 Yes, but we’re also human, and humans eat, Waltz.

Miller (11:08 am ET): 🏋️‍♂️💼 Now that we’ve got this out of our system, let’s get back to work.

Ratcliffe (11:10 am ET): 📈📊 Agreed, time to consult our graphs and numbers.