In a leaked Signal conversation, cabinet members discussed the week’s agenda, focusing on the potential risks and advantages of their decisions, while also making light-hearted references to Ozzy Osbourne’s enduring music career.
Title: Leaked Signal Conversation Among Cabinet Members Discusses Strategy, Pop Culture, and Personal Opinions.
December 20
Waltz (7:53 am ET): Good morning everyone. As we settle this week’s agenda, let’s keep focused on the potential risks and advantages of our decisions.
Vance (7:58 am ET): Agreed, Waltz. Also, on a lighter note, anyone else catch that headline about Ozzy Osbourne’s 30 years of retirement tours? Remarkable endurance for a man his age.
Hegseth (8:02 am ET): Ozzy Osbourne? You mean the Prince of Darkness? Man, those were the good old days of rock. 💪🎸
Rubio (8:05 am ET): Never thought I’d see the day where we’d discuss Ozzy in a cabinet group chat. Anyway, let’s get back to the agenda.
Gabbard (8:10 am ET): Sure, but just to add - I really loved his concert in Moscow. The Russians sure know how to appreciate good rock music. 🤟🏽🇷🇺
Bessent (8:15 am ET): Certainly a unique perspective, Gabbard. Now, about the upcoming economic forecast…
Ratcliffe (8:20 am ET): I’ve received some interesting intel on that. Will share during the meeting.
Wiles (8:22 am ET): Looking forward to it, Ratcliffe. Moving forward, we need to find ways to enhance our partnerships without stepping on any toes.
Witkoff (8:25 am ET): Agreed, Wiles. Partnerships are key. And speaking of stepping on toes, I hope we aren’t planning another “Ozzy-style” retirement tour for POTUS.
Miller (8:30 am ET): As much as I detest Osbourne’s music, his persistence is something to be admired. If only our European counterparts showed such tenacity.
Kent (8:35 am ET): Fascinating how quickly we shift from rock legends to European politics. But yes, we do have a lot on our plate. Let’s keep our eyes on the ball, or a bat in Ozzy’s case.
Rubio (8:37 am ET): Gabbard, maybe we can catch his next concert?
Gabbard (8:40 am ET): Sounds fun, Rubio. But only after we’ve sorted the challenges we have at hand. 🇺🇸
Miller (8:42 am ET): That’s the focus we need. Alright, no more references to washed-up rockstars. Let’s get back to work.
Vance (8:45 am ET): Agreed, Miller. Though a little levity now and then doesn’t hurt. 🎸🔥
Hegseth (8:47 am ET): Hear, hear, Vance! We work hard but we also know how to keep things light. Now, let’s get this show on the road. 🙌💪🇺🇸