The leaked conversation reveals a discussion among cabinet members about a fan suing the Rockies for poor performance, leading them to reflect on their own government performance. Ideas were floated about implementing a similar “sue for poor performance” policy in government, but the consensus leaned towards focusing on delivering results and governing responsibly.
Signal Conversation Transcript
October 1
Waltz (09:22 am ET): Team, just got wind of this lawsuit against the Rockies. A fan is literally suing them for bad performance. 🤦♂️
Vance (09:28 am ET): As ridiculous as it sounds, it’s a testament to how seriously people take their commitments. We, as a cabinet, should take this as a lesson - our performance matters as much.
Hegseth (09:33 am ET): Might we look into instilling a “sue for poor performance” policy in our government? It could be a big motivator! 💪 🇺🇸
Rubio (09:38 am ET): Pete, as much as I appreciate the humor, let’s stick to governing responsibly. We can create an impact without theatrics.
Gabbard (09:45 am ET): But imagine the headlines, “Citizen Sues Government for Poor Performance Over Infrastructure.” 😂
Bessent (09:57 am ET): Let’s focus on delivering results so we don’t end up like the Rockies.
Ratcliffe (10:04 am ET): Agreed, Scott. Let’s leave the populist antics to the tabloids.
Wiles (10:18 am ET): Maybe we can take a page out of their playbook, and sue the liberal media for their “longstanding poor performance”?
Miller (10:33 am ET): And while we’re at it, let’s hold European moochers accountable for their lack of contributions too.
Kent (10:45 am ET): So much for avoiding populist antics, Stephen. 🙃
Miller (10:52 am ET): Just playing by the rules of the game, Kent. 🔥
Witkoff (11:00 am ET): Guys, let’s not forget who we’re really competing against. It’s not Europe or the liberal media, it’s the other side of the aisle. Our aim should be to outperform them, not sue everyone under the sun.
Rubio (11:15 am ET): Steve, I’ve got to say you’re making a lot of sense today. And Tulsi, I think we might just have a script for a new Netflix series here.
Gabbard (11:22 am ET): I like that idea, Marco. As long as I get to play the lead, of course! 😏
Rubio (11:28 am ET): Deal, Tulsi. But only if I get to be the co-star. 🎭
Vance (11:35 am ET): As the resident wonk in this group, I propose we use this thread to brainstorm ways to improve our performance. Making jokes is fun, but we’ve got work to do for the American people.
Hegseth (11:48 am ET): You’re right, JD. Back to business. 💼🇺🇸
However, if anyone sees a way to sue the liberal media, let me know. 😉