SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_7433

CLASSIFIED_7433

The cabinet members discussed the impact of the Strategy Boss at Channel 4 stepping down on their media strategy in the UK, with some expressing concerns over maintaining strong relationships with their allies there. The conversation also touched on personal preferences and off-topic banter.

Michael Waltz (9:00 AM ET): Morning team. We’ve got a change up. The Strategy Boss at Channel 4 is stepping down after five years.

JD Vance (9:05 AM ET): Oh, I heard about that. Bit of a blow for them. Far from our usual agenda, but relevant nonetheless.

Pete Hegseth (9:07 AM ET): Is that why my show in the UK got pulled? 💪

Marco Rubio (9:10 AM ET): Not sure, Pete. I thought it was because you kept calling scones “weird biscuits”.

Tulsi Gabbard (9:15 AM ET): I love scones! Especially with raspberry jam. By the way, Marco, have you tried Russian Blini? 🇷🇺

Scott Bessent (9:18 AM ET): Let’s stick to the topic, folks. This could affect our media strategy in the UK.

Stephen Miller (9:20 AM ET): Who cares about the UK anyway? It’s all a bunch of liberal nonsense.

John Ratcliffe (9:23 AM ET): Not sure about that, Stephen. Intelligence points to some valuable allies there. We need to keep our relationships strong.

Susie Wiles (9:28 AM ET): Exactly, John. Let’s keep the eye on the ball.

Steve Witkoff (9:30 AM ET): To Vance’s point, Channel 4 has a significant reach. This could mean a shift in their editorial line, which may affect our public image.

Joe Kent (9:35 AM ET): I second Witkoff. Let’s use this as an opportunity. Maybe we can even get them on our side.

Hegseth (9:37 AM ET): Keep dreaming, Joe. Maybe if I become their Strategy Boss, they’ll change their tune. 💪🇺🇸

Gabbard (9:40 AM ET): That would be the day, Pete! I’d pay to see that. 😂 Meanwhile, Marco, seriously, try the Blini.

Rubio (9:45 AM ET): Gonna have to pass, Tulsi. Still trying to get the taste of Borscht out of my mouth.

Vance (9:50 AM ET): Alright, folks, back to business. Let’s figure out how we can capitalize on this move at Channel 4.

Waltz (9:55 AM ET): Agreed. I’ll have the comms team start working on some strategies.