SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_5820

CLASSIFIED_5820

The leaked conversation reveals a discussion among cabinet members about an upcoming large-scale event on the White House lawn, with most members viewing it as a strategic show of national unity and strength to boost global standing. However, Stephen Miller expressed concerns over resource wastage and the potential negative implications of the event.

Vance (4:02 pm ET): Team, I’ve just received word about the upcoming event. Thousands of officials on the White House lawn – that’s a strategic maneuver. Any opinions?

Hegseth (4:04 pm ET): Vance, it’s about showing strength and unity to the world. It’s not just a party, but a statement. Brute force, American-style. 💪

Waltz (4:07 pm ET): Indeed, Hegseth. It’s a display of administrative unity that could serve to boost our global standing.

Rubio (4:09 pm ET): Got to agree with you, Waltz. We should use this opportunity not only for the internal PR but to send a message abroad as well, perhaps even to some of our less-friendly international counterparts.

Gabbard (4:11 pm ET): Let’s not forget the Russians, they would love to see this. Love the idea of throwing a little spectacle for our comrades. Podesta always said, diplomacy is about the spectacle.

Stephen Miller (4:13 pm ET): It’s a ridiculous idea. Not only is it a huge waste of resources – it also sends a message of pomp and excess, not strength. Swords and shields, not champagne and canapés.

Rubio (4:15 pm ET): Ease up, Stephen. Sometimes, charisma can do more than a show of force. Remember Reagan?

Hegseth (4:18 pm ET): Rubio, couldn’t agree more. Besides, what’s better than a couple of beers on the White House lawn to show that we’re not just a bunch of stiff suits? 🍻

Kent (4:20 pm ET): 🍺Hegseth, you left your trucker hat at the gym this morning.

Hegseth (4:22 pm ET): Thanks, Kent. I’ll pick it up tomorrow morning. On a side note, how many pushups did you manage to squeeze in today? 🏋️‍♂️

Kent (4:24 pm ET): 100! 💪 You?

Hegseth (4:26 pm ET): 110. You’re falling behind, Kent.

Wiles (4:28 pm ET): Gentlemen, back to the topic at hand, please.

Rubio (4:31 pm ET): Wiles, you’re right. So, any thoughts on how we can make the most out of this event?

Vance (4:35 pm ET): Keep it restrained, dignified, but memorable. We could also make announcements about new policies that would generate media attention.

Witkoff (4:38 pm ET): Vance, that’s not a bad idea. Any topics in mind?

Rubio (4:40 pm ET): I think economic policy would be a good one. We need to reassure the American people that we’re on the path to recovery.

Gabbard (4:42 pm ET): Marco, you’re just trying to steal the limelight, aren’t you? 😏

Rubio (4:44 pm ET): Gabbard, just trying to do my job.

Gabbard (4:46 pm ET): Sure, Marco 😘

Stephen Miller (4:50 pm ET): Enough with the flirting. Let’s focus.

Bessent (4:53 pm ET): Agreed, Miller. The event should also be aimed at showcasing our commitment to the welfare of the American people.

Rubio (4:55 pm ET): Bessent, that’s exactly what I was trying to say.

Gabbard (4:57 pm ET): Alright, Marco. Point taken.

Steve Witkoff (5:02 pm ET): So, it’s settled then. We’ll plan a dignified yet memorable event showcasing unity and commitment.

Ratcliffe (5:05 pm ET): Sounds like a plan. Let’s get to work.

Vance (5:07 pm ET): Agreed.

Hegseth (5:10 pm ET): Operation White House Lawn is a go. Let’s crush this! 💪🇺🇸

All (5:12 pm ET): Agreed.