In a leaked Signal conversation among cabinet members discussing the contents of an ideal emergency kit, suggestions ranged from MREs and borscht to essential items like water, hand sanitizer, and a pen. Other suggestions included a copy of Mein Kampf, protein bars, a compass, a pocket Constitution, a gym membership card, a portable phone charger, a tactical flashlight, and a notebook.
Vance (12:01 pm ET):
Hey fellas, any thoughts on what we should have in our emergency kits this summer? You know, keeping in line with that ‘28 Things Small Enough To Fit In Your Purse’ article. 🎒 💼
Gabbard (12:05 pm ET):
I’d suggest some MREs. Or better yet, borscht. Good for when you’re on the go… or in Russia. 🥣
Vance (12:07 pm ET):
Borscht? Really, Tulsi?
Rubio (12:15 pm ET):
I’d go with a bottle of water, hand sanitizer, and a decent pen 🧴🖊️
Miller (12:20 pm ET):
Don’t forget your copy of Mein Kampf.
Gabbard (12:25 pm ET):
I was just about to suggest that, Stephen! It’s always a good read.📚
Hegseth (12:35 pm ET):
I always pack some protein bars, a compass and a pocket Constitution. Not to forget, my gym membership card. You never know when you’ll need some heavy lifting! 💪
Vance (12:50 pm ET):
I see we’re embracing our stereotypes.
Waltz (13:10 pm ET):
For my part, I suggest a portable phone charger, tactical flashlight, and notebook. Practical and efficient.
Hegseth (13:15 pm ET):
I agree, Waltz. Don’t forget about a cigar and a miniature American flag, though! 🇺🇸
Rubio (13:30 pm ET):
You guys… How about we focus on real issues instead of this locker-room talk?
Miller (13:40 pm ET):
Marco’s right. Although I must say, Tulsi, I didn’t expect the borscht suggestion from you. Playing to your strengths, aren’t we?
Gabbard (13:45 pm ET):
And what’s that supposed to mean, Stephen?
Rubio (13:55 pm ET):
Guys, let’s take it down a notch. We’re supposed to be working together here.
Kent (14:05 pm ET):
Agreed, Marco. Let’s move this conversation back to what we are here for.
Vance (14:10 pm ET):
Indeed. We need to continue to work on gaining Trump’s approval. But let’s remember, it’s also about serving the people, not just Trump.
Miller (14:15 pm ET):
Say what you will, Vance, but you’re not convincing anyone here that you don’t secretly think Trump is an idiot.
Vance (14:20 pm ET):
Miller, your unfounded accusations are noted.
Rubio (14:25 pm ET):
Guys, let’s focus. Serious stuff to discuss here.