SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_4757

CLASSIFIED_4757

The leaked conversation among cabinet members reveals their collective sentiment of experiencing a sense of déjà vu regarding Gabbard’s recent release on Russia’s alleged intelligence ‘manufacturing’. The discussion also emphasizes their need to focus on more substantial issues.

March 16

Vance (05:02 pm ET):

Gentlemen, and Tulsi, I just finished reviewing Gabbard’s latest release on Russia’s alleged intel ‘manufacturing’. Feels like déjà vu, doesn’t it? 😬

Rubio (05:05 pm ET):

Evening Vance, yeah, it does indeed seem familiar … like we’ve seen something similar before 🧐

Waltz (05:08 pm ET):

Vance, Rubio, I concur. We’re going in circles here. Let’s ensure we’re focusing on substantial issues.

Hegseth (05:10 pm ET):

Waltz, my man! Spot on, brother. Let’s keep our eyes on the prize. Plus, Tulsi, Putin may be your crush, but remember, he’s never gonna swipe right! 😂

Gabbard (05:15 pm ET):

Very funny, Hegseth! 💁‍♀️

Rubio (05:17 pm ET):

On another note, anyone catch the latest episode of The Mandalorian?

Miller (05:18 pm ET):

Can we keep the chit-chat to a minimum please? We’ve got serious matters to discuss here.

Bessent (05:20 pm ET):

I agree with Stephen, guys. Let’s keep the focus. And Hegseth, let’s treat every member of this chat with respect.

Vance (05:22 pm ET):

Bessent’s right. My apologies for steering the conversation off track. Let’s discuss how we can address this situation constructively.

Witkoff (05:25 pm ET):

But Rubio, that Baby Yoda is quite a character, isn’t he? 😂

Miller (05:27 pm ET):

That’s it, I’m leaving this chat! ✌️

Vance (05:28 pm ET):

Settle down everyone. We need to review Tulsi’s data and formulate a response that upholds our interests while rebuking Russia’s false claims.

Kent (05:30 pm ET):

Agreed, Vance. We must ensure our response is carefully thought out and hits the right note - tough but fair.

Waltz (05:35 pm ET):

Even more reason why we need to focus. This situation must be handled with utmost professionalism and diligence.

Hegseth (05:40 pm ET):

Gentlemen, agreed. So Tulsi, are you going to extend an invite to Putin for a re-watch of the Mandalorian finale or what? 😂

Gabbard (05:42 pm ET):

Hegseth, don’t you have more pushups to do? 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

Rubio (05:44 pm ET):

Good one, Tulsi! Hegseth, you walked into that one. 😂 But back to your point, Vance. Let’s schedule a meeting to discuss this further. We need to take immediate action.

Wiles (05:45 pm ET):

I’ve just sent out a meeting request, folks. Let’s reconvene there.

Ratcliffe (05:46 pm ET):

Thanks, Susie! See you all in the meeting.

Hegseth (05:47 pm ET):

Sure thing, Wiles. But Tulsi, no more talking about Russia’s failed Tinder strategies there. 😂

Rubio (05:49 pm ET):

Hegseth, that’s enough. We’ve got work to do. Let’s get to it!

Waltz (05:50 pm ET):

Agreed, Rubio. Gentlemen, Tulsi, let’s reconvene at the meeting. Remember, discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most. Good evening.