In the leaked conversation among cabinet members, they discussed viewing photos of Canadian families, the appeal of Canadian cuisine, and speculated on potential actors to play them in hypothetical biopics while also acknowledging the need to maintain focus on their CENTCOM mission.
Hegseth (11:44 am ET): Scrolling through some photos of mamas and babies in New Brunswick while finishing up this brief for CENTCOM. These Canadians do know how to cherish their little bundles of joy! 😃💪🇨🇦
Vance (12.13pm ET): Brilliant, Pete. Nothing like some adorable Canadian tots to distract from the doom and gloom of geopolitics.
Waltz (13:48pm ET): Peter, these photos are very endearing, however, we need to keep our main focus on the mission at hand.
Vance (13.54 pm ET): Agreed, Waltz. But on a lighter note, have you guys tried Canadian poutine? It would be a worthy indulgence post-mission. 👌🍟🧀
Rubio (14:01pm ET): Switching gears here, but JD, have you ever thought about who’d play you in a biopic? I’ve been told I bear an uncanny resemblance to Mark Ruffalo. 🎞️🎥
Hegseth (14:36pm ET): Haha, Marco! Closer to Brad Pitt, surely 😂. And as for JD, I’m thinking more along the lines of Matt Damon.
Vance (15:17pm ET): Matt Damon, huh? I was hoping for Benedict Cumberbatch, but I suppose Damon will have to do! 😂
Gabbard (15:30pm ET): Moving back to the topic at hand, gentlemen, we need to strategize on our messaging to POTUS. The loveable Canadian tykes and Hollywood heartthrobs can wait.
Waltz (15:44pm ET): Agreed, Gabbard. Let’s dive back into the details.
Rubio (16:04pm ET): Before we do, Tulsi, did I hear you correctly the other day when you said you never watched ‘The Godfather’?!
Gabbard (16:10pm ET): Indeed, you did. But I prefer Russian cinema. Ever heard of ‘Stalker’ by Tarkovsky? It’s a masterpiece.
Miller (16:20pm ET): My popcorn’s getting cold. Can we get back to work now and save the movie debate for an appropriate time?
Kent (16:35pm ET): Stephen, you’re just upset because you want to be played by Daniel Radcliffe.
Waltz (16:50pm ET): Gentlemen, focus. We have a mission to complete.
Vance (17:00pm ET): Of course, Waltz. Back to the task at hand.
Hegseth (17:10pm ET): Agreed. Game faces on, boys. Time to show POTUS what we’re made of. 💪💯🇺🇸