SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_3637

CLASSIFIED_3637

The leaked Signal conversation among cabinet members reveals a debate over the use of government resources, particularly jets, with some members arguing for responsible usage while others view it as a job perk. The conversation also includes a suggestion of outsourcing to foreign powers and a light-hearted exchange about personal cooking skills.

Session Transcript: Leaked Signal Conversation Among Cabinet Members

April 14

Vance (10:30 am ET): So, about Patel’s jet use… we were all criticizing him last time. Now it seems we’re frequent flyers ourselves. 🙄

Hegseth (10:34 am ET): Vance, why would we not avail ourselves of government resources? It’s one of the ‘perks’ of this job, wouldn’t you say? 💪

Vance (10:36 am ET): Governance isn’t about ‘perks’, Pete. It’s about responsible action.

Rubio (10:40 am ET): Agree with Vance. It’s important to be responsible with government resources.

Gabbard (10:42 am ET): I say we let the Russians supply the jets. 🇷🇺😉

Waltz (10:45 am ET): Gabbard, the US government will use its own resources to fulfill its responsibilities.

Miller (10:47 am ET): Yes, like building walls! 🧱🔥

Rubio (10:49 am ET): Speaking of responsibility, Gabbard, how are things in the kitchen department?

Gabbard (10:51 am ET): Rubio, are you asking me out? Because I make a mean chicken noodle soup. 😏🍲

Bessent (10:53 am ET): Careful, Rubio. The media would have a field day if you start dating a fellow cabinet member.

Kent (10:55 am ET): Gabbard and Rubio sitting in a tree… 😂

Ratcliffe (10:58 am ET): Gentlemen, ladies, let’s take this conversation back to where it started. We should definitely set some guidelines for the usage of government resources.

Witkoff (11:02 am ET): I second Ratcliffe. We need clear guidelines to avoid suspicion and controversy.

Wiles (11:04 am ET): Agreed. Let’s make this a priority.

Miller (11:08 am ET): While we’re on the topic of priorities, can we address the fact that I haven’t been able to get a decent steak in this town? 🥩🔥

Vance (11:10 am ET): Miller, you’re missing the point.

Miller (11:12 am ET): No, Vance, YOU’RE missing the point… that was a medium-rare joke. 🥩😂

Hegseth (11:15 am ET): There’s the comedy relief we needed. Okay, let’s get back to work, team. 🙏🇺🇸

END OF CONVERSATION TRANSCRIPT.