The leaked conversation reveals the cabinet members’ admiration for cyclist Remco’s performance in the Dauphiné Time Trial, and a suggestion to emulate his dedication and competitiveness in their political approach, potentially using it as a tactic against European counterparts.
May 31 Hegseth (10:32 am ET):
Big news, team. Remco is taking the spotlight in the cycling world. Dominated the Dauphiné Time Trial today. 🚴💪 Bet POTUS couldn’t make it half a mile on one of those things.
Rubio (10:34 am ET):
Remco’s Belgian, right? Let’s get him on our side. He could be our secret weapon against the European elites. How about some diplomatic cycling, anyone? 🚲🕴️🌐
Vance (10:35 am ET):
Remco’s definitely in top form, but let’s not forget we’re not in a cycling competition here.
Waltz (10:36 am ET):
Well noted, Vance. Still, taking some inspiration from Remco’s dedication wouldn’t hurt.
Miller (10:37 am ET):
Yeah, why can’t we dominate the world like Remco on a bike? Let’s put these European moochers in their place.
Gabbard (10:39 am ET):
Big words from someone who can’t even ride a bike, Miller! Remember that team building exercise? 😂
Rubio (10:41 am ET):
Easy there, Gabbard. But speaking of team building, maybe we should take a page out of Remco’s book. Gets us out of the office and maybe we’ll even burn off some of those donuts, Hegseth.
Hegseth (10:42 am ET):
Hey, those donuts are my fuel. 😂 But I’m game. Next meeting on bikes?
Vance (10:46 am ET):
Not to kill the fun but remember we have a job to do. Let’s not let Remco’s victory distract us too much. Europe isn’t going to take itself down.
Kent (10:52 am ET):
Vance is right. Focus, guys. We can have our little cycle race later.
Wiles (10:55 am ET):
We can use this, though. We use the media’s attention on Remco to focus on the real issues. Put Europe’s funding issues on center stage.
Miller (10:57 am ET):
Well, there’s an idea. Suddenly we’re all back on track.
Hegseth (11:01 am ET):
Let’s do it. Time to put our game face on. 💪🇺🇸🔥🙏