The leaked conversation reveals that an operation was successfully executed to eliminate a top missile engineer, with the coordinated efforts of CENTCOM, the FBI, and the Intelligence Community being lauded by the cabinet members. All members expressed satisfaction and a desire to maintain the momentum.
The following below is a dramatized, reimagined transcript of the supposed leaked conversation:
March 15
Hegseth (11:44 am ET): Alright team, CENTCOM’s got the green light from FBI Director Kash Patel. Let’s show our men out there we’ve got their six.
Vance (12.13pm ET): 🙏 You have my prayers. Let’s hope for a swift and decisive victory.
Waltz (13:48pm ET): VP, our target’s building is dust. Kudos to Pete and the IC for the spot on ID.
Vance (13.54 pm ET): Wait, what?
Waltz (14.00pm ET): Paraphrasing. Our main target – their top missile engineer – was spotted entering his chick’s building and now, it’s nada.
Vance (14.01pm ET): Outstanding.
Rubio (17:14pm ET): Nice job team. Pete, you and your folks did an amazing job. Let’s keep up the good work.
Waltz (17:15pm ET): Our team in MAL also delivered splendidly.
Stephen Miller (17:18pm ET): Stellar efforts all around. Let’s keep the momentum going.
Hegseth (17:20pm ET): Solid performance from CENTCOM as well. Let’s reconvene tomorrow for a debrief. Impressive show, team.
Gabbard (18:35pm ET): 🇷🇺 Indeed, great work everyone, especially the action team!
March 16
Rubio (09.15am ET): So… Tulsi, how are things in Russia?
Gabbard (09.22am ET): All good, Marco. You know, just hanging out with Putin, drinking vodka, and riding bears. 🐻 🇷🇺
Rubio (09.30am ET): Oh, I bet that’s… fun? 🤔
Gabbard (10.00am ET): It’s always a blast! 😂 You should join sometime.
Rubio (10.30am ET): No, thanks. I’m good with my Florida sunshine! 🌞🌴
Vance (10:35am ET): Get a room guys, we’re supposed to be talking about important stuff here.
Later that Day
Miller (14.14pm ET): Hegseth, when do I get to launch the tanks?
Hegseth (14.15pm ET): Patience, Miller. I know you’re itching to lay down the law.
Miller (14:17pm ET): Damn right. The sooner, the better! 🏴☠️
Kent (14.30pm ET): Talking about laying down, I could use a good steak about now.
Miller (14.32pm ET): Leave it to Kent to think about food at a time such as this!
Kent (15:00pm ET): Man’s gotta eat! 😅
Hegseth (16:00pm ET): Alright, enough chatter. Time to get back to business. Let’s keep our focus.
Later that Night
Vance (18:45pm ET): Well, this mission was a success. Here’s to the next one.
Hegseth (18:47pm ET): Indeed, Vance. To the next one. 🍻
All (18:50pm ET): To the next one! 🍻
[End Conversation]