The leaked conversation reveals cabinet members discussing their concern over the shooter’s confessed motivation to kill in order to aid Walz, their need to prioritize justice, and the political implications of the situation. An unexpected shift in topic led to a debate about balancing work with personal life, exemplified by a suggestion for a lunch outing.
Bessent (09:08 am ET): Lads, have the reports about the shooter confessing he killed to help Walz been confirmed?
Miller (09:10 am ET): Confirmed. They’re trying to spin this tragedy into a personal endorsement. It’s revolting.
Gabbard (09:12 am ET): Amazing how they can be so desperate.
Waltz (09:13 am ET): Let’s focus on the main issue here - the shooter’s motivation, not the political implications.
Rubio (09:15 am ET): Good point, Waltz. We need to ensure that justice is served first.
Kent (09:16 am ET): Agreed. But we can’t ignore the political aspect either.
Vance (09:18 am ET): Are any of you considering lunch at the taco food truck near the office? Their carnitas are fantastic. 🌮🔥
Witkoff (09:20 am ET): Nice topic switch, Vance, but carnitas sound good right now.
Miller (09:22 am ET): Tacos over justice? No wonder the liberals mock us.
Wiles (09:25 am ET): We can have tacos and justice, Miller. Stop acting like we can’t handle both.
Ratcliffe (09:27 am ET): I’d prefer a rare steak, but I can settle for tacos.
Hegseth (09:30 am ET): I once out-ate a Russian general in an arm-wrestling match. Gave him a bicep-flex for every filet mignon I downed. 💪
Gabbard (09:31 am ET): I love a good beef stroganoff. It’s delicious and quintessentially Russian.
Rubio (09:32 am ET): Gabbard, you’ll love my abuela’s Cuban version of it.
Vance (09:34 am ET): Russian beef stroganoff… Cuban stroganoff… Just thinking makes me salivate.
Miller (09:36 am ET): Can we return to the shooter acknowledgment?
Waltz (09:38 am ET): Yes, back to business. We need a unified response to this confession.
Hegseth (09:40 am ET): Before we proceed, I’ve got to know, Rubio… Does your grandma’s stroganoff recipe involve a secret ingredient?
Rubio (09:42 am ET): Hegseth, you rascal. Yes, it involves love and a generous dash of Cuban flair.
Miller (09:44 am ET): This conversation is taking wild turns. It’s like trying to read “War and Peace” in a roller coaster.
Bessent (09:45 am ET): I agree with Miller. For once. Let’s return to the serious matters now.
Wiles (09:46 am ET): Agreed. This confession letter needs our full attention.
Vance (09:48 am ET): Perhaps. But I’m still thinking about that stroganoff.
Kent (09:50 am ET): Vance, tacos or stroganoff?
Vance (09:52 am ET): Both. 🌮🔥🍛