The leaked Signal conversation among cabinet members reveals a brief diversion from serious discussions about national security matters to discuss a deal on Rocky Patel DBS Robusto 5-Pack cigars, highlighting a blend of work and leisure in their interactions.
Title: “Leaked Signal Conversation Reveals Cabinet Members Discussing Rocky Patel DBS Robusto 5-Pack”
April 8
Hegseth (09:30 am ET): 💪 Good morning team. Just got off the call with CENTCOM. We’re pushing on all fronts. In other news, have you guys checked out this Rocky Patel DBS Robusto 5-Pack deal? It’s $18 with free shipping. All American classic! 🇺🇸
Vance (09:35 am ET): Cigars, Pete? Are we suddenly on a break?
Hegseth (09:37 am ET): Ah, JD, my man, the art of indulgence is lost on you. It’s about celebrating small victories.
Rubio (09:42 am ET): 🙏 Noted Pete. But as we are on the topic, Vance has a point. Let’s focus on the task at hand.
Waltz (09:45 am ET): Agreed Rubio. On a serious note, I’ve received intelligence information. Will brief you all soon.
Gabbard (09:47 am ET): Oh, look at you guys! So serious. Here I was thinking we could take a break and discuss the Rocky Patel Robusto. They’re from Nicaragua, by the way.
Vance (09:51 am ET): Great, Tulsi. Add ‘cigar snob’ to your bio.
Hegseth (09:55 am ET): 😂 Gabbard, the Cigar Connoisseur. Has a nice ring to it.
Miller (10:00 am ET): Politics by day, cigar aficionados by night. We are a multi-talented bunch.
Gabbard (10:05 am ET): And you, Stephen, a connoisseur of… what exactly?💃🏻
Rubio (10:10 am ET): 🙏 Tulsi, let’s stick to the agenda. Looking forward to your briefing, Waltz.
Waltz (10:15 am ET): Thank you, Rubio. I will schedule a separate call for the briefing. Let’s stay focused.
Bessent (10:20 am ET): I’m with Rubio on this one. Besides, I’m more of a wine guy myself.
Ratcliffe (10:25 am ET): Noted, Bessent. Wine for the next cabinet meeting then?
Wiles (10:30 am ET): Let’s not stray too far from the path, gentlemen. Our work is cut out for us.
Witkoff (10:35 am ET): Agreed. Let’s get back to the topic at hand. We can enjoy our cigars and wine when the mission is accomplished.
Kent (10:40 am ET): Couldn’t have put it better Steve. Let’s get back on track, everyone.
Miller (10:45 am ET): Alright you lot, time to get serious. No more cigars and wine on official channels.
Hegseth (10:50 am ET): 🤚 Alright, alright! Back to business. But I am ordering those cigars, you can count on that! 🔥