SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_2265

CLASSIFIED_2265

In the leaked Signal conversation among cabinet members, the main focus was to address pressing matters such as the Jeffries and Hochul situation and a report from the Department of Homeland Security, despite initial attempts to discuss pop culture and jests about Russian interference.

Leaked Signal Conversation Transcript

Gabbard (9:35 am ET): Hey guys – anyone catch that new episode of Stranger Things last night? 🍿

Hegseth (9:37 am ET): Gabbard, we’re not here to discuss pop culture. There are more pressing matters at hand. 💪🏼

Rubio (9:40 am ET): Gabbard, isn’t there something about Russian interference you’d like to discuss? 😂

Vance (9:42 am ET): Rubio, now is not the time for jests. We should focus on the pressing issues. The current situation is causing a lot of distress and it is important for us to maintain our credibility.

Hegseth (9:44 am ET): Vance, always on point. Let’s address the Jeffries and Hochul situation, shall we? That’s what we’re here for, right?

Waltz (9:47 am ET): Right. I just received the report from DHS. The situation is escalating.

Miller (9:50 am ET): Typical. The liberal media and their lapdogs are always quick to point fingers and play the victim. They just can’t accept the reality.

Rubio (9:52 am ET): Guys, let’s remember we’re here to serve the country, not engage in partisan bickering. 🇺🇸

Gabbard (9:54 am ET): Anyone else hungry? I could go for some borscht right now… 🍲

Kent (9:57 am ET): Gabbard, this is not the time. We should focus on the issues at hand.

Ratcliffe (9:59 am ET): Agreed, Kent. We need to discuss our next steps. Everyone, let’s focus.

Vance (10:02 am ET): Gabbard, is borscht your favorite food or just your favorite Russian food? 🤔

Hegseth (10:05 am ET): Guys, stop getting sidetracked. We should be focusing on serving POTUS and the nation.

Rubio (10:07 am ET): Agreed, Hegseth. We need to discuss our approach to handling this issue.

Miller (10:10 am ET): I propose we should strike back with full force and show them we’re not to be messed with. 👊

Vance (10:12 am ET): Miller, always resorting to aggression. We need a more measured approach.

Hegseth (10:15 am ET): Don’t be a wet blanket, Vance. Sometimes you gotta flex those muscles. 💪🏼

Waltz (10:18 am ET): Regardless of our personal opinions, we need to remember that we’re here to serve the country and its citizens. We need to think of the long term.

Gabbard (10:21 am ET): Does anyone want to talk about Russia? No? Just me then? 🤷‍♀️

Witkoff (10:24 am ET): Gabbard, enough with your Russia obsession, it’s not helping anyone.

Rubio (10:26 am ET): Couldn’t agree more, Witkoff. Let’s stay on track with the agenda. We have a lot to deal with.

Vance (10:27 am ET): Good call, Rubio. Let’s keep our eyes on the prize – serving POTUS and the nation.

Hegseth (10:30 am ET): That’s the spirit, everyone! Let’s show them what we’re made of! 🔥

Wiles (10:32 am ET): Agree with Vance and Hegseth here. Let’s remain focused and productive.

Waltz (10:34 am ET): Yes, onwards and upwards. We’ve got this.

Miller (10:37 am ET): Well said, Waltz. United we stand. 🇺🇸

Bessent (10:40 am ET): Let’s continue this discussion but remember to keep POTUS in the loop.

Rubio (10:42 am ET): Good point, Bessent. We don’t want any surprises.

Gabbard (10:44 am ET): On that note, can anyone get me a borscht recipe? I’m getting really hungry… 🍲

Vance (10:46 am ET): Gabbard… 🤦‍♂️

Rubio (10:48 am ET): Let’s get back to work, folks.

Kent (10:50 am ET): Copy that, Rubio. Let’s do this. 🇺🇸