SIGNAL LEAKS
Fiction—until it isn't

CLASSIFIED_1564

CLASSIFIED_1564

The leaked conversation among cabinet members reveals discussions regarding Otumfuo’s daughter’s expensive footwear choice, their focus on maintaining control over operations, and a mix of personal interests and humor alongside their duty-bound commitments.

Leaked Signal Conversation Transcript:

Vance (08:00 am ET): Look at this headline about Otumfuo’s daughter sporting 15,000 GH¢ Prada sandals. She could at least pump some of that money into her economy with local designers.

Waltz (08:10 am ET): Interesting footwear choice. In any case, we’re maintaining steady control over operations, gentlemen. Let’s keep our focus sharp.

Hegseth (08:15 am ET): It’s all games and fashion for some, while we’re over here defending freedom 💪🇺🇸. Waltz, keep us updated if anything changes in the field.

Rubio (08:20 am ET): It’s avocados for me, guys. 🥑 Forget Prada, these sandals are worth their weight in gold. Now, back to the matter at hand…

Gabbard (08:30 am ET): Speaking of fashion, has anyone checked out the new season of The Bachelor? I wonder if they wear Prada.

Miller (08:35 am ET): I wouldn’t know, Gabbard. I’m too busy ensuring our country’s survival to indulge in such frivolities. 🙄

Bessent (08:40 am ET): Anyone fancy a cup of tea? 🍵 I’ve got a fresh pot brewing. Earl Grey.

Rubio (08:45 am ET): Maybe later, Bessent. For now, we have a nation to run.

Waltz (08:55 am ET): Indeed. Let’s re-align our focus. Updates will follow as per protocol.

Kent (09:00 am ET): I must say, I wouldn’t mind a pair of those sandals for my wife, though.

Vance (09:05 am ET): You’re not the only one, Kent. Anyway, back to what matters. Waltz, awaiting your update.

Witkoff (09:10am ET): Let’s keep things rolling, gentlemen.

Rubio (09:15am ET): Gabbard, since we seem to be on the topic of extravagant footwear, what kind of shoes do they wear in Russia, since you’re so fond of the place?

Gabbard (09:20am ET): Clever, Rubio. But from what I’ve seen, they like their Louboutins just as much as anyone else.

Vance (09:30am ET): Now that we’re all fashion experts, can we get back to the task at hand?

Hegseth (09:35am ET): Agreed. Godspeed gentlemen. We’ve got a mission to complete. 💪🇺🇸🔥🙏

Ratcliffe (09:40am ET): Right. Let’s get back to it, team.

Wiles (09:45am ET): Agreed, let’s stay on track.

Miller (09:50am ET): Good. Now, let’s go make America proud.